As you may know if you have been reading this irregularly posted blog, my son is in Marine Boot Camp at Parris Island, SC. This is a wonderful vacation spot for young men and women. The camp counselors are fun and lovable and the accommodations are excellent. Did I meniton that it is an all expense paid trip too!!
All of the meals, lodging, and extra-curricular activites are part of the expense. Which is just one large piece of one's ass for at least four years:)
Well, we have been waiting for a letter or some word from Jason. I guess that he got some "writing time" in one day this past week to write home.
The letter consisted of a form letter, with fill-in-the-blanks, kind of like a government "madlib". It had 8 areas that the recruit could place information in, and that information was provided for the recruit by the DI (drill instructor). That's kind of the theme of boot camp.
He did have a place at the bottom, a P.S., which were two 3 inch lines to communicate to the folks back home. Tucked into these 6 inches of space, in my son's very small, and sometimes, illegible hand-printing, was his message home:
HELL...BUT I'LL MAKE IT AND SEE YOU SOON.
THEY EASE OFF LATER I GUESS...BUT IT'S BAD
Is he having fun or what!
WH
10.01.2004
9.19.2004
United States Marine Corps
My wife Jen, my daughter Jessie, and I took Jason, my son, to Columbia, SC this evening and dropped him off at MEPS. If you have read some previous blogs you know that he decided to join the United States Marine Corps.
We checked him in at the hotel and went out to dinner for one of his favorite meals. Then we took him back to the hotel, said our goodbyes, and drove away. There wasn't a lot to say since we had covered the bases over the past months. I am so proud of him that my heart could pop in my chest. This is my boy. In 13 weeks he will graduate from basic training and be a man. The next 13 weeks are going to be interesting ones. The house will be quiet. His room will be empty, and way too neat after cleaning it up in preparation for this day. And Jen has to take out the trash because I am not home trash night. I will miss that boy. It isn't like your kid going away to college. They come back for the summer and holidays. He's gone. Starting an entirely new life and direction. He will be home for Christmas this year because it's just after his graduation. This is big. I don't even know how big just yet. I'll let you know in a few weeks, months, and years.
I'll leave this blog with this letter that I gave Jason last March:
March 1, 2004
Jason,
As you get ready to go into the world you have made a choice that will take you deeper into "the real world" than most in your class. You may possibly, before the end of next year, when others are entering their second year of college, see combat in some corner of the world.
By then you will have experienced more than most people will in a lifetime. You will be a man. You will have discovered many truths and life lessons, yet I would like to leave you with some thoughts that I hope will be of help as you move through life:
* Value your friends. Make sure that you know whom they are. Be a friend. Someone who will stand back to back with in any situation and never let you stand alone.
* Intelligence and wisdom are very different. Know the difference and work harder to be wise.
* Understand authority and how it protects and propels you.
* Never sell out for anything or anyone. Keep your integrity. You have to look at yourself in the mirror every day.
* Don"t neglect the spiritual part of your development. The Kingdom of God makes sense out of upside down situations and you must learn how to sense the Holy Spirit and His instruction.
* Remember your roots. You represent the family name.
* Hold your head high - you can change the world
* Never be afraid to cry or show emotion.
* Don"t marry the person you can live with, marry the person you cannot live without.
* When you are a father remember that you are not an anchor or a sail but rather a light who points the way
* If something seems too good to be true it usually is
* Be characterized as an investor rather than as a spender in relationships, finances, time, life. Look at the "return" you are getting and decide if it is the best place for your resources.
* Remember that I love you more than life itself
Life is good. Live it to the fullest.
Love,
Dad
-----------------------------------------------------
See You.
WH
We checked him in at the hotel and went out to dinner for one of his favorite meals. Then we took him back to the hotel, said our goodbyes, and drove away. There wasn't a lot to say since we had covered the bases over the past months. I am so proud of him that my heart could pop in my chest. This is my boy. In 13 weeks he will graduate from basic training and be a man. The next 13 weeks are going to be interesting ones. The house will be quiet. His room will be empty, and way too neat after cleaning it up in preparation for this day. And Jen has to take out the trash because I am not home trash night. I will miss that boy. It isn't like your kid going away to college. They come back for the summer and holidays. He's gone. Starting an entirely new life and direction. He will be home for Christmas this year because it's just after his graduation. This is big. I don't even know how big just yet. I'll let you know in a few weeks, months, and years.
I'll leave this blog with this letter that I gave Jason last March:
March 1, 2004
Jason,
As you get ready to go into the world you have made a choice that will take you deeper into "the real world" than most in your class. You may possibly, before the end of next year, when others are entering their second year of college, see combat in some corner of the world.
By then you will have experienced more than most people will in a lifetime. You will be a man. You will have discovered many truths and life lessons, yet I would like to leave you with some thoughts that I hope will be of help as you move through life:
* Value your friends. Make sure that you know whom they are. Be a friend. Someone who will stand back to back with in any situation and never let you stand alone.
* Intelligence and wisdom are very different. Know the difference and work harder to be wise.
* Understand authority and how it protects and propels you.
* Never sell out for anything or anyone. Keep your integrity. You have to look at yourself in the mirror every day.
* Don"t neglect the spiritual part of your development. The Kingdom of God makes sense out of upside down situations and you must learn how to sense the Holy Spirit and His instruction.
* Remember your roots. You represent the family name.
* Hold your head high - you can change the world
* Never be afraid to cry or show emotion.
* Don"t marry the person you can live with, marry the person you cannot live without.
* When you are a father remember that you are not an anchor or a sail but rather a light who points the way
* If something seems too good to be true it usually is
* Be characterized as an investor rather than as a spender in relationships, finances, time, life. Look at the "return" you are getting and decide if it is the best place for your resources.
* Remember that I love you more than life itself
Life is good. Live it to the fullest.
Love,
Dad
-----------------------------------------------------
See You.
WH
9.01.2004
It Has Been A While, Hope You Are Well
Busy is a good word. NO, frantic is better.
If you read the last post - May for God's sake - I was talking about starting a new job. I began full time in June, having provided input and consultation since February, and it has been full-on wide open since then. We opened on July 12th. Here is a link to the web site if you are interested -
HealthFirst/Rapidcare.
This is an amazing place to work. We have a great staff. Energetic, smart, motivated and "can do" type of people. We are going to change the way that urgent and primary is practiced. In fact, in five years or so you will be able to go to your doctor's office and thank us for the fact that you didn't have to wait for TWO FREAKING HOURS for a scheduled appointment.
Our average patient wait for August was 7 minutes before the chief complaint was addressed - you read that right - 7 minutes. I could go on and on about what we do here but it is amazing. The web site has some basic information.
I am thankful for the opportunity to work here and be surrounded my folks who are high quality and true team workers.
----------------------------------------------------
My family is doing well. My incredible wife Jen has been great through this transition and has decided to stay working a few days a week for the activity and relationships. For the next few weeks, however, she will be working every day to sub in for a good friend who is having surgery. This friend actually took over Jen's job at Dogwood, so the work Jen will be doing is the same stuff she is used to. The real benefit is that she can sleep in late and not have to get up early. Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.... She is very excited about getting to work out regularly and take care of her health. We love just hanging out, spending time together and even shopping for clothes (just not too much). I love loving her and being loved. My life is enriched in every way by Jen's presence.
Jason enters Marine Basic Training in just a few weeks. I am so proud of him and his decision which he made on his own. He is so far beyond where I was when I was his age. Very mature and astute in many areas. Remember, he is 18. Our home will be quieter and we'll miss him a lot. I will hopefully post some of the letters that I write to him during the next few months. September 20th is his day. Please pray for him.
Jessie, my 15 yr old daughter, is growing up. She just entered 10th grade and is the apple of my eye. That is exactly what I intend to tell every guy that wants to date her. In fact the dating has started and she is learning some great lessons about what type of guy that she really wants to be around. I am so proud of her for how she is managing the teen years. I have kids that are way beyond what I deserve.
Our church community is also doing well. Here is the link for them: Downtown Vineyard
We are trying to honestly follow God and flesh out this relationship thing in a real way - I love the people more and more all of the time. We are part of a small group there and are able to serve in a variety of ways. If you are in Augusta, GA drop in.
Well, gotta go. I'm at the office now and it has slowed for a few minutes so I had a hankering to catch up on the blog.
Hang in there all. Have hope. God believes in you even if we don't believe in Him.
WH
If you read the last post - May for God's sake - I was talking about starting a new job. I began full time in June, having provided input and consultation since February, and it has been full-on wide open since then. We opened on July 12th. Here is a link to the web site if you are interested -
HealthFirst/Rapidcare.
This is an amazing place to work. We have a great staff. Energetic, smart, motivated and "can do" type of people. We are going to change the way that urgent and primary is practiced. In fact, in five years or so you will be able to go to your doctor's office and thank us for the fact that you didn't have to wait for TWO FREAKING HOURS for a scheduled appointment.
Our average patient wait for August was 7 minutes before the chief complaint was addressed - you read that right - 7 minutes. I could go on and on about what we do here but it is amazing. The web site has some basic information.
I am thankful for the opportunity to work here and be surrounded my folks who are high quality and true team workers.
----------------------------------------------------
My family is doing well. My incredible wife Jen has been great through this transition and has decided to stay working a few days a week for the activity and relationships. For the next few weeks, however, she will be working every day to sub in for a good friend who is having surgery. This friend actually took over Jen's job at Dogwood, so the work Jen will be doing is the same stuff she is used to. The real benefit is that she can sleep in late and not have to get up early. Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.... She is very excited about getting to work out regularly and take care of her health. We love just hanging out, spending time together and even shopping for clothes (just not too much). I love loving her and being loved. My life is enriched in every way by Jen's presence.
Jason enters Marine Basic Training in just a few weeks. I am so proud of him and his decision which he made on his own. He is so far beyond where I was when I was his age. Very mature and astute in many areas. Remember, he is 18. Our home will be quieter and we'll miss him a lot. I will hopefully post some of the letters that I write to him during the next few months. September 20th is his day. Please pray for him.
Jessie, my 15 yr old daughter, is growing up. She just entered 10th grade and is the apple of my eye. That is exactly what I intend to tell every guy that wants to date her. In fact the dating has started and she is learning some great lessons about what type of guy that she really wants to be around. I am so proud of her for how she is managing the teen years. I have kids that are way beyond what I deserve.
Our church community is also doing well. Here is the link for them: Downtown Vineyard
We are trying to honestly follow God and flesh out this relationship thing in a real way - I love the people more and more all of the time. We are part of a small group there and are able to serve in a variety of ways. If you are in Augusta, GA drop in.
Well, gotta go. I'm at the office now and it has slowed for a few minutes so I had a hankering to catch up on the blog.
Hang in there all. Have hope. God believes in you even if we don't believe in Him.
WH
5.23.2004
Just A Recap!
As I have pondered what to write I realized that I have left some posts unfinished. Here goes:
1. The obvious. Limehouse didn't win the Derby. He came in a respectable 4th place. Smarty Jones dominated the Preakness and look for him to run away with the Belmont. Limehouse is scheduled to run in the Ohio Derby in mid June. Go Limehouse!!
2. My friend's wife who had the breast cancer. She had surgery this past Thursday and it went very well. There is no more cancer in the surrounding area - pathology comes back next week. The scar is small and the choices for full recovery are excellent. There will be reconstructive surgery in the near future.
3. My son. He graduates high school this next Saturday - May 29th - after 13 years of school. He enters the Marines Basic Training at Parris Island, SC September 20th. We have some things planned this summer. Notably a father/son backpacking trip on the Pacific Crest Trail in Washington State. This is an annual event we do with friends of mine who live out there. I couldn't be more proud of Jason as he has grown into a responsible young man.
4. My daughter Jessie. She finishes 9th grade this year. Her first year in High School and she has done wonderfully. She does well with academics and is surely at the top of her class. Jessie got her driving permit the day of her 15th birthday and will be getting her license after completing the required 40 hours of driving.
5. My love. Jen, my wife, and I spent yesterday putting a flower bed in the front yard. It looks great and we both have sore hamstrings from the bending and standing. So we walk around the house like cripples - especially if we have to bend over for something or sit down (as in use the potty - ouch). Jen brings laughter and life into my days. She is my hero. As I mentioned in previous posts, she has Cystic Fibrosis. In spite if that fucking disease she presses on - we were at the doctors this past Friday and she is due for another clean out - I am so fortunate to be married to someone with such courage and "fight". She has taught me so much about life.
6. My job. I am transitioning out of the fitness industry and into the medical world. I will be working with a good friend in Charleston, SC who is opening a medical clinic - like Dr.'s Care but without the 2 hour wait times - that is state of the art in technology and service. I will be project manager for setting up the clinic IT stuff and office manager/human resources/general lackie once the office gets going. There are many good things about the job and I will be able to utilize the gifts and abilities in seeing this be successful. The goal is to be able to open more clinics down the road and grow into a network of family practice/urgent care practices in the state.
7. Faith Community. Jen and I are part of an "emerging" church in Augusta, GA. The Downtown Vineyard is where we grow and develop our faith. We are part of a small group that meets Thursday evenings and are studying through Acts right now, exploring what being a disciple of Jesus Christ is all about. Neat people and a real family trying to work through our shit together. Not for the faint of heart:)
That about does it for the "catch-up" blog. I hope all is well with you.
WH
1. The obvious. Limehouse didn't win the Derby. He came in a respectable 4th place. Smarty Jones dominated the Preakness and look for him to run away with the Belmont. Limehouse is scheduled to run in the Ohio Derby in mid June. Go Limehouse!!
2. My friend's wife who had the breast cancer. She had surgery this past Thursday and it went very well. There is no more cancer in the surrounding area - pathology comes back next week. The scar is small and the choices for full recovery are excellent. There will be reconstructive surgery in the near future.
3. My son. He graduates high school this next Saturday - May 29th - after 13 years of school. He enters the Marines Basic Training at Parris Island, SC September 20th. We have some things planned this summer. Notably a father/son backpacking trip on the Pacific Crest Trail in Washington State. This is an annual event we do with friends of mine who live out there. I couldn't be more proud of Jason as he has grown into a responsible young man.
4. My daughter Jessie. She finishes 9th grade this year. Her first year in High School and she has done wonderfully. She does well with academics and is surely at the top of her class. Jessie got her driving permit the day of her 15th birthday and will be getting her license after completing the required 40 hours of driving.
5. My love. Jen, my wife, and I spent yesterday putting a flower bed in the front yard. It looks great and we both have sore hamstrings from the bending and standing. So we walk around the house like cripples - especially if we have to bend over for something or sit down (as in use the potty - ouch). Jen brings laughter and life into my days. She is my hero. As I mentioned in previous posts, she has Cystic Fibrosis. In spite if that fucking disease she presses on - we were at the doctors this past Friday and she is due for another clean out - I am so fortunate to be married to someone with such courage and "fight". She has taught me so much about life.
6. My job. I am transitioning out of the fitness industry and into the medical world. I will be working with a good friend in Charleston, SC who is opening a medical clinic - like Dr.'s Care but without the 2 hour wait times - that is state of the art in technology and service. I will be project manager for setting up the clinic IT stuff and office manager/human resources/general lackie once the office gets going. There are many good things about the job and I will be able to utilize the gifts and abilities in seeing this be successful. The goal is to be able to open more clinics down the road and grow into a network of family practice/urgent care practices in the state.
7. Faith Community. Jen and I are part of an "emerging" church in Augusta, GA. The Downtown Vineyard is where we grow and develop our faith. We are part of a small group that meets Thursday evenings and are studying through Acts right now, exploring what being a disciple of Jesus Christ is all about. Neat people and a real family trying to work through our shit together. Not for the faint of heart:)
That about does it for the "catch-up" blog. I hope all is well with you.
WH
5.01.2004
Kentucky Derby - Run For the Roses
Here we are in Lexington, KY, a short drive to Louisville and the track - Churchill Downs, watching the light rain fall. Jen and I are here with her office mate and her husband to attend the Kentucky Derby 130 | 2004 | .
They work for Dogwood Stable, a racing partnership headquartered in Aiken, SC. One of Dogwoods horses, Limehouse is in the running!! Look for him in post position 3 - green and yellow silks - yellow dots.
If Limehouse wins, look for us in the winners circle.
WH
They work for Dogwood Stable, a racing partnership headquartered in Aiken, SC. One of Dogwoods horses, Limehouse is in the running!! Look for him in post position 3 - green and yellow silks - yellow dots.
If Limehouse wins, look for us in the winners circle.
WH
3.25.2004
Journey Revisited
I wish that this place wasn't so familiar. A friend called earlier this week. His wife has breast cancer - shit. She has surgery today. I am glad that we have each other as they walk through this valley. Many survivors. Many soldiers. Many casualities. My heart aches for his wife, him, and their two daughters.
More later...
WH
More later...
WH
3.11.2004
Going Out With A Bang
Interesting acticle by a well respected former chairman of the Space Research Center, Quebec, CanadaThere Was No Big Bang.
WH
WH
3.08.2004
The Passion, the Hairy Baby, and Creepy Christians
Well, I decided that I would write something about The Passion of The Christ. What started this line of thought was the distaste that I have for the church trying to market stuff for it's own benefit. The Passion is a good example. You can now get little nail necklaces, tracts to hand out to the "unsaved" who are leaving the theaters, books, etc. Soon to follow are Passion Bible studies, small group materials, and counseling tools. This is the very thing that Jesus reacted to concerning the money changers in the Temple. They were in the way of those trying to approach God - exploiting them for their benefit - not making it easy for others to get to the Holy One of Israel.
Some of the materials may actually be good - the thing that chaps my ass is the way that the church seems to be poised to react to everything instead of ACT. If the church were properly positioned in the community they would be able to integrate the discussion of the Passion to the lives of the people in the community because the life of Christ would have already been part of the discussion - evident in the lives of the people who are disciples. I fear that what has happened instead is that the church has cloistered itself behind whatever is available and beckons people to come in rather than BE involved the lives of people who are in the community.
Oh well, I digress. Anyhow, after the movie we were talking. The one thing that none of us could understand was the "hairy baby" that Satan was carrying around during the flogging scene. Now that was creepy. I'm not a Bible scholar but that one flew right by me. There isn't any type of reference, figure of speech, or shadow if intimation that would explain that weird thing. So we left it at that. Weird. Just left it.
A few days later someone asked me if they had told me what some other people had "interpreted" this weird baby thing to mean. I said "No." The person asked if I wanted to know. I said "no." You see, some people just love to tell others what they believe that "the lord revealed" to them about anything. I used to run in these crowds - embarrassingly I admit that. Maybe that's what bothers me. Maybe it's just that in that place you just love to hear what kind of crap comes out of your mouth, and you love that people care - or pretend to care. The attention is intoxicating. I could give a shit about what "prophetic" christians think about the hairy baby. I wanted to know what Mel Gibson was doing! (For what it is worth the "interpretation" was that the baby was a mockery of the virgin birth and Mary - I had another person who wasn't trying to be coy tell me).
Low and behold, a friend sent a link from Christianity Today that was the answer that Mel Gibson gave for the hairy baby. Here is the link Mel's answer to the creepy baby.
Thankfully the answer wasn't even close to the "interpretation" given by the "prophetic" people. Smugly I say, "Thank you Jesus."
WH
Some of the materials may actually be good - the thing that chaps my ass is the way that the church seems to be poised to react to everything instead of ACT. If the church were properly positioned in the community they would be able to integrate the discussion of the Passion to the lives of the people in the community because the life of Christ would have already been part of the discussion - evident in the lives of the people who are disciples. I fear that what has happened instead is that the church has cloistered itself behind whatever is available and beckons people to come in rather than BE involved the lives of people who are in the community.
Oh well, I digress. Anyhow, after the movie we were talking. The one thing that none of us could understand was the "hairy baby" that Satan was carrying around during the flogging scene. Now that was creepy. I'm not a Bible scholar but that one flew right by me. There isn't any type of reference, figure of speech, or shadow if intimation that would explain that weird thing. So we left it at that. Weird. Just left it.
A few days later someone asked me if they had told me what some other people had "interpreted" this weird baby thing to mean. I said "No." The person asked if I wanted to know. I said "no." You see, some people just love to tell others what they believe that "the lord revealed" to them about anything. I used to run in these crowds - embarrassingly I admit that. Maybe that's what bothers me. Maybe it's just that in that place you just love to hear what kind of crap comes out of your mouth, and you love that people care - or pretend to care. The attention is intoxicating. I could give a shit about what "prophetic" christians think about the hairy baby. I wanted to know what Mel Gibson was doing! (For what it is worth the "interpretation" was that the baby was a mockery of the virgin birth and Mary - I had another person who wasn't trying to be coy tell me).
Low and behold, a friend sent a link from Christianity Today that was the answer that Mel Gibson gave for the hairy baby. Here is the link Mel's answer to the creepy baby.
Thankfully the answer wasn't even close to the "interpretation" given by the "prophetic" people. Smugly I say, "Thank you Jesus."
WH
1.31.2004
Ramping up to blog...I'm Back(for now)
Thanks for the prompts to get back to the blog. This has been a chaotic season. Those who know me are aware that I am in the fitness industry and this is our busiest time of year...one statistic says that 12% of the US population joins a health club in January. Our trend has been similar here in Aiken, SC. We are busy.
On another note, Aiken, SC made national news twice in one week. First news item was for the once every 30 years ice storm. We were, in our home, without power for about 36 hours. Some have fared worse - they are w/o still: 6 days later. We, the health club, offered showers for those in the community who were unable to clean up. Second news item - James Brown was arrested for criminal domestic violence. As mentioned in a previous blog, SC is the most dangerous place for a women to live in the USA. Sad. The Godfather of Soul beat up his wife. Looked rough in the mug shot too, so unbelievably, they let him take a second mug shot. Now, to be fair about how scary his mug shot was - he too had been without power for three days and hadn't showered, etc. Still, he looked rough. Rah Aiken!! What a croc of shit. James was just pardoned last year by SC Department of Corrections(assault, etc, served two plus years in the "hotel Aiken" for this)and rec'd Kennedy Center honors this past year too. I hope he gets the help he needs. He must be "off" a bit, said he was on his way to the United Nations, after getting out of jail yesterday, so he could promote peace in the world. Huh?!? "let's kick some 'old lady' ass and promote peace." Well, stranger things have happened, I just can't remember when.
On a more serious note. My kids rock!! I am so appreciative of my children. Their ages are 14(15 in April) and 17(18 in June). My son is the eldest. He is respectful, intelligent, responsible, and a great young man. I ride his ass a little too much some times about the small stuff, but sometimes it's the small stuff that gets by and bites you. He is graduating this year. Made the A/B honor roll this quarter. I don't think that I have had to "look over his shoulder" concerning home work for years now. He is also very "self aware". Prime example. A few months ago he emerged from what we laughingly call his "cave" and proclaimed, "you know dad, now that I am 17, almost 18, the decisions that I make are pretty much mine. I mean, I'm responsible for them and my future. You've pretty much done your job and it's up to me now."
How about that!! As frightening as that sounds, it's true. He's got much more on the ball than I had at that age. Anyhow, he "emerged" again from the cave about two weeks after the first "declaration of independence" and said, "I really don't like school. I don't want to go to college, study something that I'm not sure that I want to, and be $20-30,000 in debt(We had been looking at and visiting colleges for possible admission for the past few months - a whole 'nother group of stories). I also lack discipline and self motivation in some areas so I'm going to join the Marines! I figure that if I can do that for 4 years I will have money saved, $32,500 for college (GI bill) and I will have the discipline to do just about anything that I want."
After my wife(his step-mom)finished screaming, "What, and go to war!" and various other insightful and sensitive attempts to encourage him(you have to understand - my wife is half Italian[I know - pray for me], and that half is very evident - vocal and dramatic - not a silent half - she blurts and waves her hands around as she communicates), we realized that he was following through on his first declaration. He was making his first BIG life decision. I couldn't argue with his reasoning. He thought this one out. He had taken the step.
The status in that decision is that he is formally engaged to the Marines. That means that he has been cleared medically and taken his first oath. His nuptial date, the second oath, is September 20, 2004. Parris Island, SC, just two hours and an entire universe away from home. 13 weeks after that date he will be one of the Few and Proud - "No Better Friend, No Worse Enemy."
I couldn't be more proud. I can't watch the Marine videos w/o choking up. That date in December when he graduates will be unbelievably emotional. I'll keep you in touch as the time draws near. Right now he is working part-time, finishing his senior year, playing basketball and X-Box, and getting ready for basic Training by spending time at the Health Club that dad manages - membership does have it's privledges:) While most 18 year olds will be fighting with Biology 1 and freshman jitters and all of the bullshit that the first year of school brings - my son will become a man. At 18. When did you understand what it meant to be responsible? When did you know what it was to be an adult? I sure as hell wasn't 18. I love and admire my son. He is the coolest and most amazing 18 year old I know. He is my best friend. What a gift. How many parents can say that? I told you my kids rock.
So, I'll leave it at that. More on my daughter in another blog.
Glad to be back. Hope to stay here.
WH
On another note, Aiken, SC made national news twice in one week. First news item was for the once every 30 years ice storm. We were, in our home, without power for about 36 hours. Some have fared worse - they are w/o still: 6 days later. We, the health club, offered showers for those in the community who were unable to clean up. Second news item - James Brown was arrested for criminal domestic violence. As mentioned in a previous blog, SC is the most dangerous place for a women to live in the USA. Sad. The Godfather of Soul beat up his wife. Looked rough in the mug shot too, so unbelievably, they let him take a second mug shot. Now, to be fair about how scary his mug shot was - he too had been without power for three days and hadn't showered, etc. Still, he looked rough. Rah Aiken!! What a croc of shit. James was just pardoned last year by SC Department of Corrections(assault, etc, served two plus years in the "hotel Aiken" for this)and rec'd Kennedy Center honors this past year too. I hope he gets the help he needs. He must be "off" a bit, said he was on his way to the United Nations, after getting out of jail yesterday, so he could promote peace in the world. Huh?!? "let's kick some 'old lady' ass and promote peace." Well, stranger things have happened, I just can't remember when.
On a more serious note. My kids rock!! I am so appreciative of my children. Their ages are 14(15 in April) and 17(18 in June). My son is the eldest. He is respectful, intelligent, responsible, and a great young man. I ride his ass a little too much some times about the small stuff, but sometimes it's the small stuff that gets by and bites you. He is graduating this year. Made the A/B honor roll this quarter. I don't think that I have had to "look over his shoulder" concerning home work for years now. He is also very "self aware". Prime example. A few months ago he emerged from what we laughingly call his "cave" and proclaimed, "you know dad, now that I am 17, almost 18, the decisions that I make are pretty much mine. I mean, I'm responsible for them and my future. You've pretty much done your job and it's up to me now."
How about that!! As frightening as that sounds, it's true. He's got much more on the ball than I had at that age. Anyhow, he "emerged" again from the cave about two weeks after the first "declaration of independence" and said, "I really don't like school. I don't want to go to college, study something that I'm not sure that I want to, and be $20-30,000 in debt(We had been looking at and visiting colleges for possible admission for the past few months - a whole 'nother group of stories). I also lack discipline and self motivation in some areas so I'm going to join the Marines! I figure that if I can do that for 4 years I will have money saved, $32,500 for college (GI bill) and I will have the discipline to do just about anything that I want."
After my wife(his step-mom)finished screaming, "What, and go to war!" and various other insightful and sensitive attempts to encourage him(you have to understand - my wife is half Italian[I know - pray for me], and that half is very evident - vocal and dramatic - not a silent half - she blurts and waves her hands around as she communicates), we realized that he was following through on his first declaration. He was making his first BIG life decision. I couldn't argue with his reasoning. He thought this one out. He had taken the step.
The status in that decision is that he is formally engaged to the Marines. That means that he has been cleared medically and taken his first oath. His nuptial date, the second oath, is September 20, 2004. Parris Island, SC, just two hours and an entire universe away from home. 13 weeks after that date he will be one of the Few and Proud - "No Better Friend, No Worse Enemy."
I couldn't be more proud. I can't watch the Marine videos w/o choking up. That date in December when he graduates will be unbelievably emotional. I'll keep you in touch as the time draws near. Right now he is working part-time, finishing his senior year, playing basketball and X-Box, and getting ready for basic Training by spending time at the Health Club that dad manages - membership does have it's privledges:) While most 18 year olds will be fighting with Biology 1 and freshman jitters and all of the bullshit that the first year of school brings - my son will become a man. At 18. When did you understand what it meant to be responsible? When did you know what it was to be an adult? I sure as hell wasn't 18. I love and admire my son. He is the coolest and most amazing 18 year old I know. He is my best friend. What a gift. How many parents can say that? I told you my kids rock.
So, I'll leave it at that. More on my daughter in another blog.
Glad to be back. Hope to stay here.
WH
1.09.2004
I'm Thinking, I'm Thinking
Hey there. I know that it has been an embarassingly long time since I posted. No excuses are sufficient. Something is coming this weekend. I hope:)
WH
WH
12.23.2003
Spoofing Again...or Welcome To Geekville
Well, here we sit at the Super 8 Motel in Lakehurst, NJ (For history buffs, that's where the Hindenburg crashed). On a whim I opened my iBook laptop and checked the area for wireless signals...voila! There was one available and I quickly gained access to the network. I love wireless, especially in a boring hotel room.
The Big Apple was great. Times Square. Rockefeller Center. Little Italy. The Apple Store in SoHo. Chinatown. FAO Schwartz. Central Park. It was all great and we had beautiful weather. I would post some pictures but I left the USB cable for my camera home as I didn't think that I would need it.
Anyhow, we're off to my parents for another visit today. We are all getting sort of tired of the hotel one room thing with 4 people. The only hitch is that we now have a High Terror Alert at the airport that will require us to leave earlier that planned - 6 am at the latest on Christmas Day.
I will give an update later.
WH
The Big Apple was great. Times Square. Rockefeller Center. Little Italy. The Apple Store in SoHo. Chinatown. FAO Schwartz. Central Park. It was all great and we had beautiful weather. I would post some pictures but I left the USB cable for my camera home as I didn't think that I would need it.
Anyhow, we're off to my parents for another visit today. We are all getting sort of tired of the hotel one room thing with 4 people. The only hitch is that we now have a High Terror Alert at the airport that will require us to leave earlier that planned - 6 am at the latest on Christmas Day.
I will give an update later.
WH
12.19.2003
I Love Technology
So here we are at the airport in Columbia, SC. Jason, my son, opened my laptop to play a DVD and I reached over to shut off my Airport wireless card and the thing was active.
The airport has a public access wireless network that is blazing fast...and just think I almost didn't bring my laptop:)
Happy Holidays...
WH
The airport has a public access wireless network that is blazing fast...and just think I almost didn't bring my laptop:)
Happy Holidays...
WH
Off To The Big Apple
Hope all of you have a happy holiday. We're off to the big apple for Christmas. Yep , call me crazy. We will be in NY City for THE busiest shopping day of the year - the Saturday before Christmas.
We will be at Rockefeller Center, Times Square and Little Italy tomorrow. Then we drive down to NJ to visit my parents, and back to SC on Christmas Day - the best day to travel!!
Everyone have a safe and wonderful time this holiday. I am also reminded to say a prayer of comfort for those who have lost loved ones and those who have family and friends in our armed forces around the world.
Peace...
WH
We will be at Rockefeller Center, Times Square and Little Italy tomorrow. Then we drive down to NJ to visit my parents, and back to SC on Christmas Day - the best day to travel!!
Everyone have a safe and wonderful time this holiday. I am also reminded to say a prayer of comfort for those who have lost loved ones and those who have family and friends in our armed forces around the world.
Peace...
WH
12.02.2003
Lord heal my...WHAT!?
As one can imagine, 18 years in ministry can make available a variety of experiences which are at opposite ends of the continuum. There is the triumphant and the tragic. The wonderful and horrible. The rewarding and the draining.
The following story is one of the funniest that I experienced.
The first church in which I served was a medium sized charismatic Southern Baptist Church. Picture that if you can. We used to be called Bapticostal. Believing that there are angels, demons and the like we were actually able to help a number of people who actually had spiritual-emotional problems who struggled with a "secular only" approach to counseling. Some of these individuals had legitimate demonic problems and many saw relief after compassionate, applicable counseling.
Having said that, we also encountered many individuals who were just nutty. One particular individual arrived at our door due to the referral of a relative who attended our church. He was convinced that he had demons and that they were telling him to kill himself, that his wife hated him, etc. It was obvious that he was delusional and confused. We spent a few hours talking with him over the next few days. It became apparent that his problems were not on the level which he thought them to be. I made a few referrals to some local professionals and suggested that he make an appointment to see them. He said that he would. His relative, a cousin, said that he could stay with him while undergoing treatment.
The next Sunday there he was, sitting in the pew, quiet and sullen. I kept an eye on him during the service and there was no problem. Afterwards I asked how he was doing. I discovered that he didn't contact any of the counselors yet, and that the reasons that he was having problems was that he decided, "because the Lord told him", to stop taking his lithium. Ah, ha! Maybe that's why he was a bit off kilter. Bi-polar as hell. The best was yet to come:)
Our Wednesday night services were typically calm. This night would be different. We sang and had prayer requests (what I called "organ recital" due to the amount of physical problems mentioned). The usual format was that the lights were dimmed (because it made it easier for God to hear prayers of course!), and people could come forward to kneel at the front stage and pray. Soft music was playing and some folks were kneeling at the stage.
After a few minutes, our bipolar friend slowly stood up and made his way to the front of the church. He was just standing quietly and I thought, "thank you God." My hope was that he would just finish and sit down. Not to happen.
He raised both hands to the sky and shouted at the top of his lungs, "LORD, HEAL MY DICK!" Heads snapped up, eyes were wide open, and those of us who heard what he said were giving each other the, "I can't believe that he just said that, he really didn't say that" look. About 5 seconds passed and he repeated the petition, "LORD, HEAL MY DICK!"
I quickly asked one of our stouter men to the front of the church and had him escort our debilitated friend. He was taken out and over the next few days had a few outbursts in town, was eventually committed, and got back on his medication. He returned home in a few months and was fine after that (and still is for all I know).
Later that evening a few of us were standing around talking about the incident and one of the wives thought that he actually said, "LORD, HEAL MY JEEP!" Her husband said, "I never heard it called that before."
All in all, this was quite a memorable incident. I'm just glad that he wasn't asking us to anoint with oil and lay hands on his "jeep".
WH
The following story is one of the funniest that I experienced.
The first church in which I served was a medium sized charismatic Southern Baptist Church. Picture that if you can. We used to be called Bapticostal. Believing that there are angels, demons and the like we were actually able to help a number of people who actually had spiritual-emotional problems who struggled with a "secular only" approach to counseling. Some of these individuals had legitimate demonic problems and many saw relief after compassionate, applicable counseling.
Having said that, we also encountered many individuals who were just nutty. One particular individual arrived at our door due to the referral of a relative who attended our church. He was convinced that he had demons and that they were telling him to kill himself, that his wife hated him, etc. It was obvious that he was delusional and confused. We spent a few hours talking with him over the next few days. It became apparent that his problems were not on the level which he thought them to be. I made a few referrals to some local professionals and suggested that he make an appointment to see them. He said that he would. His relative, a cousin, said that he could stay with him while undergoing treatment.
The next Sunday there he was, sitting in the pew, quiet and sullen. I kept an eye on him during the service and there was no problem. Afterwards I asked how he was doing. I discovered that he didn't contact any of the counselors yet, and that the reasons that he was having problems was that he decided, "because the Lord told him", to stop taking his lithium. Ah, ha! Maybe that's why he was a bit off kilter. Bi-polar as hell. The best was yet to come:)
Our Wednesday night services were typically calm. This night would be different. We sang and had prayer requests (what I called "organ recital" due to the amount of physical problems mentioned). The usual format was that the lights were dimmed (because it made it easier for God to hear prayers of course!), and people could come forward to kneel at the front stage and pray. Soft music was playing and some folks were kneeling at the stage.
After a few minutes, our bipolar friend slowly stood up and made his way to the front of the church. He was just standing quietly and I thought, "thank you God." My hope was that he would just finish and sit down. Not to happen.
He raised both hands to the sky and shouted at the top of his lungs, "LORD, HEAL MY DICK!" Heads snapped up, eyes were wide open, and those of us who heard what he said were giving each other the, "I can't believe that he just said that, he really didn't say that" look. About 5 seconds passed and he repeated the petition, "LORD, HEAL MY DICK!"
I quickly asked one of our stouter men to the front of the church and had him escort our debilitated friend. He was taken out and over the next few days had a few outbursts in town, was eventually committed, and got back on his medication. He returned home in a few months and was fine after that (and still is for all I know).
Later that evening a few of us were standing around talking about the incident and one of the wives thought that he actually said, "LORD, HEAL MY JEEP!" Her husband said, "I never heard it called that before."
All in all, this was quite a memorable incident. I'm just glad that he wasn't asking us to anoint with oil and lay hands on his "jeep".
WH
11.22.2003
Thought provoking - Marriage and Fidelity
I was browsing through my favorite bloggers and read the November 22nd post by Le Prêtre Noir. It is a an editorial from a conserative New York Times writer. Interesting perspective. I'm sure that it scares the Far Right to death but many things do.
The truth is that gay marriage cannot be blamed for the erosion of heterosexual marriage. We hetero's have done that all by ourselves.
One of the things that I am glad about regarding the whole dialog on gay marriage is that people are actually applying rational and relational thought to the issue and not just charged emotions.
WH
The truth is that gay marriage cannot be blamed for the erosion of heterosexual marriage. We hetero's have done that all by ourselves.
One of the things that I am glad about regarding the whole dialog on gay marriage is that people are actually applying rational and relational thought to the issue and not just charged emotions.
WH
11.17.2003
Protect Our Communities
One of the somber lessons that I have learned in years of living in church community is that there are people who do not have the best interests of God's Kingdom in mind. Many times we find ourselves building "a kingdom" instead of "The Kingdom". Motives are polluted with selfish desire, self advancement, or recognition hunger.
This is not, however, the worst problem we face. The worst is the predators. Those who know that there are weak and vulnerable people in communities. Those who gravitate to those communities knowing that if they would just use a few key terms, "insider" lingo, spiritual terms that are "passwords" into the fold, they can worm into the position of power and take advantage - causing havoc and pain in the lives of those who are most in need of healing and hope.
Why is this so? Why do people find a place to operate in abusive ways when the community of God should be a place where the weak are safe? The main reason is that we have been, for way too long, too trusting of those who pass a litmus test of "faith" that is too shallow and easily faked. As I mentioned above, people who name drop God, or the latest worship phase, or best seller, or pet theological view become accepted.
It's a well known fact that one of the easiest place to find vulnerable women is church. In some churches anyone who answers the call to work with the nursery, children, or teens can do so without any reservation. That's suicide. I cannot tell you how many people I have spoken to over the years who have been used, abused, violated, and fractured in communities of faith by those who they trusted. Read the papers.
It almost happened this week in our church. This guy showed up - day one in our community. Dropped some phrases, a well placed "hey brother" and went out to eat with a group afterwards. Next thing you know he's trying to give his phone number to one of the single women of the church - all because he, in his words, "is a kind hearted person and she looked a little down." She's VERY uncomfortable and gets a bad feeling about the whole exchange. Oh, he's married, and did I mention that this was his first time EVER in our community. Who was he kidding. Rat bastard.
Later that week he just decides to show up at the small group that this same girl attends. God works in mysterious ways, huh? There it is - he's a predator. You see, here is where we have blown it in the past. "Let the guy stay." "Doesn't God love everybody?" "Maybe we can help him." Now way! Not at the expense of this young lady.
He was confronted before he even gets in the door. He was asked not to say anything to her. He was told that we did not put with that type of behavior. He was told that although his motives couldn't be questioned, his wisdom could be. How do you think that he responded? He got defensive, tried to use the Bible to show that he was being judged and disappeared back to whatever place that he came from. Bu-bye.
Maybe it's just that we are not "equipped" to handle people like this. Maybe we aren't yet mature enough as a church. Or maybe we should stop being dumb asses and protect those in our communities who are being targeted.
Tell you what. If you think that this is harsh, send me your church's address and the next predator that shows up at our door I'll send your way.
WH
This is not, however, the worst problem we face. The worst is the predators. Those who know that there are weak and vulnerable people in communities. Those who gravitate to those communities knowing that if they would just use a few key terms, "insider" lingo, spiritual terms that are "passwords" into the fold, they can worm into the position of power and take advantage - causing havoc and pain in the lives of those who are most in need of healing and hope.
Why is this so? Why do people find a place to operate in abusive ways when the community of God should be a place where the weak are safe? The main reason is that we have been, for way too long, too trusting of those who pass a litmus test of "faith" that is too shallow and easily faked. As I mentioned above, people who name drop God, or the latest worship phase, or best seller, or pet theological view become accepted.
It's a well known fact that one of the easiest place to find vulnerable women is church. In some churches anyone who answers the call to work with the nursery, children, or teens can do so without any reservation. That's suicide. I cannot tell you how many people I have spoken to over the years who have been used, abused, violated, and fractured in communities of faith by those who they trusted. Read the papers.
It almost happened this week in our church. This guy showed up - day one in our community. Dropped some phrases, a well placed "hey brother" and went out to eat with a group afterwards. Next thing you know he's trying to give his phone number to one of the single women of the church - all because he, in his words, "is a kind hearted person and she looked a little down." She's VERY uncomfortable and gets a bad feeling about the whole exchange. Oh, he's married, and did I mention that this was his first time EVER in our community. Who was he kidding. Rat bastard.
Later that week he just decides to show up at the small group that this same girl attends. God works in mysterious ways, huh? There it is - he's a predator. You see, here is where we have blown it in the past. "Let the guy stay." "Doesn't God love everybody?" "Maybe we can help him." Now way! Not at the expense of this young lady.
He was confronted before he even gets in the door. He was asked not to say anything to her. He was told that we did not put with that type of behavior. He was told that although his motives couldn't be questioned, his wisdom could be. How do you think that he responded? He got defensive, tried to use the Bible to show that he was being judged and disappeared back to whatever place that he came from. Bu-bye.
Maybe it's just that we are not "equipped" to handle people like this. Maybe we aren't yet mature enough as a church. Or maybe we should stop being dumb asses and protect those in our communities who are being targeted.
Tell you what. If you think that this is harsh, send me your church's address and the next predator that shows up at our door I'll send your way.
WH
11.13.2003
It is a cold day in hell...
Read the story and find out what amazing, earth-shattering, news rocked the campus of a mid-west college - - Breaking news!!
WH
WH
11.05.2003
The Etch A Sketch Years
I am the parent of two teenagers. One is a 14 year old young lady. The other a 17 year old young man. This particular entry has to do with the elder child.
I know that I have spoken to him about relatively easy things to remember. Things that require some, but not much, thought. Now those of you with teenagers will relate to this - Have you ever wondered what happened to the various requests that you have built into your children over the years? I mean, this is not recent stuff. It usually consists of areas and issues that have been the topic of many requests and corrections over the years.
For instance, I know that many of us, as parents, have communicated to our kids a simple request like, "Please don't leave food in your room." Now this is not just controlling parenting. This is because, at least in our part of the U.S., the deep south, we have ants. Ants happen to like easy meals and aren't easily deterred once a food source is readily available. In addition to ants, there is mold, and in the slow process of food becoming petrified, it stinks as it rots. I would think that these are fair and reasonable reasons to not allow dirty dishes and half eaten bags of snack foods in the room.
As I was relating some of these thoughts to a friend she hit upon the perfect metaphor - teens are like an etch-a-sketch. If you have ever played with or owned an etch-a-sketch, you know exactly what she is talking about. If you haven't, click on the link above and discover the wonder of this toy. The main point for this discussion, is that the etch-a-sketch, when you have a picture that you no longer want, when turned over and shaken, erases all evidence of the work that you have produced.
In a similar way at some point in a teens life, they get turned over and shaken, thereby erasing much, if not all, of the "imprint" that has been made.
"Jason, please put your glass on a coaster and not the table."
The sound of the Etch-a-sketch shaking, "Why? It's OK there."
"Hey Jas, could you not park behind Jen's car in the garage so she can get out if she needs to?"
Shuchaka-shutchka-shake - "Is she going out later?"
"Could you please clean the bathroom, specifically the toilet, since it's all yellow and nasty?"
Shuchaka-shuckaha-shake "Is anyone coming over?"
"Did you remember to get that ___________________ (fill in the blank) that I asked you for?"
Shuchaka-shutchka-shake "Huh?"
It actually makes for some great moments of disbelief, wonder, and amazement. I can only hope that some day there is some deeper imprint that resurfaces after some time of amnesia.
For now I just hear the sound, Shuchaka-shutchka-shake.
WH
I know that I have spoken to him about relatively easy things to remember. Things that require some, but not much, thought. Now those of you with teenagers will relate to this - Have you ever wondered what happened to the various requests that you have built into your children over the years? I mean, this is not recent stuff. It usually consists of areas and issues that have been the topic of many requests and corrections over the years.
For instance, I know that many of us, as parents, have communicated to our kids a simple request like, "Please don't leave food in your room." Now this is not just controlling parenting. This is because, at least in our part of the U.S., the deep south, we have ants. Ants happen to like easy meals and aren't easily deterred once a food source is readily available. In addition to ants, there is mold, and in the slow process of food becoming petrified, it stinks as it rots. I would think that these are fair and reasonable reasons to not allow dirty dishes and half eaten bags of snack foods in the room.
As I was relating some of these thoughts to a friend she hit upon the perfect metaphor - teens are like an etch-a-sketch. If you have ever played with or owned an etch-a-sketch, you know exactly what she is talking about. If you haven't, click on the link above and discover the wonder of this toy. The main point for this discussion, is that the etch-a-sketch, when you have a picture that you no longer want, when turned over and shaken, erases all evidence of the work that you have produced.
In a similar way at some point in a teens life, they get turned over and shaken, thereby erasing much, if not all, of the "imprint" that has been made.
"Jason, please put your glass on a coaster and not the table."
The sound of the Etch-a-sketch shaking, "Why? It's OK there."
"Hey Jas, could you not park behind Jen's car in the garage so she can get out if she needs to?"
Shuchaka-shutchka-shake - "Is she going out later?"
"Could you please clean the bathroom, specifically the toilet, since it's all yellow and nasty?"
Shuchaka-shuckaha-shake "Is anyone coming over?"
"Did you remember to get that ___________________ (fill in the blank) that I asked you for?"
Shuchaka-shutchka-shake "Huh?"
It actually makes for some great moments of disbelief, wonder, and amazement. I can only hope that some day there is some deeper imprint that resurfaces after some time of amnesia.
For now I just hear the sound, Shuchaka-shutchka-shake.
WH
10.26.2003
It's All About The Eyes
This story comes from Henri Nouwen.
One day a young fugitive, trying to hide himself from the enemy, entered a small village. Th people were kind to him and offered him a place to stay. But when the soldiers who sought the fugitive asked where he was hiding, everyone became very fearful. The soldiers threatened to burn the village and kill every man in it unless the young man was handed over to them before dawn. The people went to the minister and asked him what to do. The minister, torn between handing the boy over to the enemy or having his people killed, withdrew to his room and read his Bible, hoping to find an answer before dawn. After many hours, in the early morning his eyes fell on these words: "It is better that one man dies that the whole people be lost."
Then the minister closed the Bible, called the soldiers and told them where the boy was hidden. And after the soldiers led the fugitive away to be killed, there was a feast in the village because the minister had saved the lives of the people. But the minister did not celebrate. Overcome with a deep sadness, he remained in his room. That night, an angel came to him, and asked, "What have you done?" The minister said, "I handed over the fugitive to the enemy." Then the angel said, "But don't you know that you have handed over the Messiah?' "How could I know?" the minister replied anxiously. Then the angel said: "If, instead of reading your Bible, you had visited this young man just once and looked into his eyes, you would have known."
Powerful stuff. Who have I handed over to the enemy, thinking that I was doing what was best, with the support of Scripture? Maybe I should spend more time looking into the eyes of others - I may find that God resides in them. I may find that I have more in common with them that I would be comfortable with. Risk is good. Life is precious.
WH
One day a young fugitive, trying to hide himself from the enemy, entered a small village. Th people were kind to him and offered him a place to stay. But when the soldiers who sought the fugitive asked where he was hiding, everyone became very fearful. The soldiers threatened to burn the village and kill every man in it unless the young man was handed over to them before dawn. The people went to the minister and asked him what to do. The minister, torn between handing the boy over to the enemy or having his people killed, withdrew to his room and read his Bible, hoping to find an answer before dawn. After many hours, in the early morning his eyes fell on these words: "It is better that one man dies that the whole people be lost."
Then the minister closed the Bible, called the soldiers and told them where the boy was hidden. And after the soldiers led the fugitive away to be killed, there was a feast in the village because the minister had saved the lives of the people. But the minister did not celebrate. Overcome with a deep sadness, he remained in his room. That night, an angel came to him, and asked, "What have you done?" The minister said, "I handed over the fugitive to the enemy." Then the angel said, "But don't you know that you have handed over the Messiah?' "How could I know?" the minister replied anxiously. Then the angel said: "If, instead of reading your Bible, you had visited this young man just once and looked into his eyes, you would have known."
Powerful stuff. Who have I handed over to the enemy, thinking that I was doing what was best, with the support of Scripture? Maybe I should spend more time looking into the eyes of others - I may find that God resides in them. I may find that I have more in common with them that I would be comfortable with. Risk is good. Life is precious.
WH
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