OK, disclaimer from the start. I'm gonna swear in this one. Just thought that I would let you know so you could get out now if need be...you still have time.
HOLY SHIT! Wednesday and Thursday were un-fucking-believable as far as days go.
Think I'm exaggerating. To put this in context, so you don't have to read a bunch of other old posts, I wear two hats at work -
1. Practice Administrator: Taking care of the day to day operations at our Dr.'s office.; and
2. Systems Adminstrator: Taking care of the information systems at our Dr.'s office.
We have a state of the art, paperless, electronic, digital, and high tech office. That means LOTS of information systems and cool shit that breaks. We are one year old and, so far, very successful. Ok, enough.
Here's the short list of stuff, in no particular order, that happened during those two days:
1. Wireless, handheld credit card machine went down due to the company that leases the cell tower airspace went Chapter 11. We scan THOUSANDS OF DOLLARS each month this way. It stopped working Wednesday morning - dead. We resort to the "old timey" method of laying the card down and SHUSHUNK, sliding that thing over and back over the card to get an impression - new wireless solution will be $600 - $1000 dollars.
2. One of our wireless extension phones, we have 6 lines, gets a demon and will not dial out. All you get is a squawky noise trying to call out. Now it can RECEIVE a call. I try everything - no luck. Staff calls support, "That's curious, we'll have to log in to the system and see what that is." I hook up a back-up extension and it won't even install and "see" the base unit - so I hook the other base unit back up - NOW IT WORKS. That's shit! But I look smart.
3. Wednesday we have a total, instant power outage. The server and critical computers are on back-up so that we have 10 minutes to power them down normally. We do so and the power stays off for 10-15 minutes. Of course, everyone calls me to tell me that their power is off - NO SHIT! UPS back-ups are screaming all over the office. Oh, I forgot to mention that it's HOT outside and we have no air conditioning running. The real FUNNY phone call is the one that says, "What happened?" I can't even go there. So we power everything back up after the electricity turns back on - the process isn't pretty since we are state-of-the-fucking-art and EVERYTHING, phones included, is digital.
4. Shortly, an employee comes to my office, while I am on the phone trying to get the credit card machine thing worked out, and states, "the computers up front aren't working" and walks out. For 11 months we have stressed the importance of CLEAR AND CONCISE communication and explanation. We have 6 computers up front. I'm going to lose my mind! Which computers? What are they doing or not doing? When did that happen? I excuse myself off of the phone and go up front looking for the employee. GONE! I ask, "has anyone seen Jill (Not her real name for obvious reasons)?" No one has. Now I'm pissed. This employee is on probation anyway and has computers that are not working and disappears, WITHOUT TELLING ANYONE! That is a cardinal sin in a doctors office. When we go to take a piss we tell each other - ALWAYS. So now I have to fire this employee too. No, seriously, we had the, "one more time and I have to let you go" discussion already. Anyway, I see the offending computers and get them running smoothly again, with instructions to send the employee to my office when she returns from where ever the hell she has gone. Waiting in my office for her, another front desk employee pokes her head in the door and says, "I lied. Jill told me she went to the bathroom but when you asked I wasn't really paying attention and said 'no' without thinking since I was concentrating on something else." AGHHHHHHHHHHHHH! Thank you:) I just have to leave this little story here since there is more.
5. We usually get one to two patient complaints per month. Wednesday I am trying to get to lunch with a colleague, which I have done ONE OTHER TIME in one year - and we have TWO patients in the office who want to talk to me...NOW. I'm still recovering from the power outage and screaming UPS back-ups.
6. Oh, Microsoft issued 10, count 'em, 10 security updates - they got installed in the midst of all this crap.
7. Thursday, our office manager is doing something in billing and says, "that's weird!" Never good when people are staring at an alert dialog box on their computer. Seems that there is a problem that was detected and Microsoft is requiring a hot-fix. We proceed but now it MS wants to validate that we are true Windows XP users. So I am crawling UNDER the desk to read this little sticker on the side of the DELL that has the numbers while the Office Manager types in the numbers - we do this three times before it takes the number.
8. The same manager is unplugging her radio so another worker can use it while posting payments - sort of like watching kudzu grow in my opinion - as she is pulling the cord out of the UPS Power Supply, there is a "POP", a flash, she screams and all three power supplies in the room start beeping. WHAT THE FUCK! Seems like a paper clip had fallen from the desk on top of the UPS and when she went to pull the cord, it rocked the UPS, the paper clip slid under a plug and "POP". It tripped the breaker to the receptacles in the back office. I couldn't believe it. What are the odds?
9. My God! I get out of the office and am on the way home and my cell rings. The office. The server has spontaneously restarted and all of the computers are down - patient charts were open, 15 users were logged on, x-rays were being stored, etc. Everyone wants to know what to do!! AGHHHHHHHHHH. So I talk them through the crisis and all seems well.
10. 30 minutes later my cell rings. "Pete, charges are not coming across from the patient side of the system to the billing side." All together now...AGHHHHHHHHH. So I have to walk the employee through logging in to the server, opening services and starting or restarting 6 separate services to see if that works - it does.
Oh, as I am driving, focusing on this problem I get ZAPPED by, not one, but two cops RADAR. THANK GOD I have a Escort Passport detector because I was not paying attention to my speed and would have gotten a ticket for sure.
Now that would have made an already "wonderful" two days even better.
Ok, I feel better now. Thank you for letting me vent. There were 10 other small, bother some things that pale in comparison, but were almost enough to get me reaching for the Xanax. To let you know how bad it was, for RELAXATION that Thursday night, I got home, picked up dog shit, and cut and trimmed the grass - that was to dial down.
But let me tell you - the shower and ice cold beer at the end of that day were incredibly satisfying.
We're back off to Charleston tomorrow for Andy and Karen's wedding. I'll update from the hotel tomorrow night.
WH
