Home...

I made the last official drive back from Charleston yesterday before lunch. Leaving the people at work is always the hardest part.

Now I'm starting my Friday like any other - basic to-do's: dog to the groomers, back to the Job Shop, more fund raising for the Evening of Miracles, and a variety of other things.

I found out last night that Jason MAY be coming home this next Tuesday. That would be fantastic! I'll know more after the weekend as he will probably call and let me know once he is sure - the old "hurry up and wait" of the military.

Next week in will probably sink in that I am not going back to Charleston, SC to work, as the weekend is starting like any other.

Tonight Jen and I have the couples group in Augusta - and a short stop at Bed, Bath, and Beyond beforehand, and just hanging out with each other:) I love my wife, she is my best friend in the world.

Sorry for the "bland" post but not much else going on.

WH

[posted with ecto]

The Finish Line

Logged exactly 12 hours yesterday. That brings the total for the week to 36.08 by the clock. 4 hours to go.

This morning I got in at 5:31 AM and plan to work until 9:31 AM and then head home - I just need the server and other systems to hold together for another 4 hours:) Selfish prayer, "God, not now."

The following are lyrics from a Steve Taylor song, "Finish Line".

Off in the distance
Bloodied but wise
As you squint with the light of the truth in your eyes

And I saw you
Both hands were raised
And I saw your lips move in praise
And I saw you steady your gaze
For the finish line

Every idol like dust
A word scattered them all
And I rose to my feet when you scaled the last wall
And I gasped
When I saw you fall
In his arms
At the finish line

There you go. After three long days, and two longer weeks, I'm ready to fall in His arms and rest.
I'll post more once I get home, hug my baby, unpack, put my feet up and breath a sigh of relief.

WH

"Down The Stretch They Come"

Those marvelous words that the announcer screams over the public address system at Churchill Downs as the lead horses take the final turn in the Kentucky Derby.

Last full day at work. So far I have put in a tad over 24 hours in the past two days - not including 5 hours of driving.

Got into the office this morning at 6:28 AM (up at 4:11 AM). So if I clock out at 6:30 PM that leaves 4 hours to work tomorrow and I am on the road home. I usually get in the office on Thursday's at 5:30 AM, so I should be on the road by no later than 10 AM and home by Noon.

This has been a long haul, the past two weeks, and I am looking forward to getting a schedule for normal life - being home every evening, running or walking again, winterizing the house, training the new dog, trying to sleep in and get up at 6:00 AM (yeah). I can TRY and stay up and watch some TV with Jen, shows that she enjoys.

So, here I am, less than 16 hours and counting. Next week starts my new "job" in earnest - finding another source of income.

WH

Great Discussion on Racism and the Church

One of the blogs that I follow is Scot McKnight's "Jesus Creed". His last two posts are significant in that he discusses the importance of confronting racism in the church.

Here is his beginning paragraph from his first post:

If you embrace a kingdom vision of the gospel itself, racism is nothing short of disgusting. If you embrace a judicial perception of sin, the Cross, and the gospel, racism is more tolerable. I’m sorry to put in such bold terms, but it all comes down to how you understand the gospel.

His second post goes on to discuss the themes that the New Testament presents which totally destroy any justification that racism and the Kingdom of God have any place together.

In my opinion, this is one of the greatest issues of powerless and flaccidity in the church. The empowering of the church in the Book of Acts was inseparable from the experience of "reconstitution" for humans who had been victims of racism and prejudice - each group (or in the case of Pentecost, groups) who were introduced to the baptizing work of the Holy Spirit were welcomed into the Kingdom by God - and in doing so God issued a direct challenge to all who would hold on to racism.

The confrontation with Peter in the Book of Acts over the inclusion of Gentiles into the church is probably the starkest example in the NT of God's radical determination to communicate with bigoted and prejudicial humans that these are His rules and we are to love who He loves.

Take a look at these posts and take a look into your own heart - Love God, love others - that is what we are called to live.

WH

Hour Countdown Update

Worked 12.5 hours yesterday - 27.5 hours left. Already on the clock today at 5:23 AM and plan on staying until 5 PM tonight. The drive home will be through heavier traffic than usual but the trade off will be an easy Thursday's drive home before lunch.

WH

40 Hours and Counting

OK. Here we go down the final stretch. I have 40 hours to work this week and I am done. My goal is to cram as many hours into the first three days as possible. I'll keep the update going each day.

I expect a number of last minute projects and responsibilities to be pushed onto my desk. I don't expect a "transition team" to be assembled when I get into work tomorrow.

I have put together a contract for 30 days of consulting if HealthFirst has to use me to obtain information or support - $50.00 per unique incident and $85.00 per hour. Competitive for any consultant, reasonable since I already know the system and the information. My gut tells me that it is too much for the doctor to pay, but my responsibility is to offer.

Pray for strength.

WH

Saturday Night Is Alright WIth Me

This weekend started as usual, on Thursday when I returned from work. I was totally fucking worn out and useless Thursday night so I sat like a vegetable until it was time to go to sleep.

Yesterday was a new day, and after a good night of sleep I was rejuvenated. Spent the morning at the bank getting things straight - they were just absorbed by a bigger bank and we have to make sure that all of our accounts get the right auto drafts and direct deposits. We get online banking FREE with the new bank so we are pretty excited BUT the transition is a bit tense as you don't want them losing your money. Especially since your income is about to go from 90 to 0.

Today is Saturday and Jen is going to a ladies thing with some friends so I am dropping her off and going to Sam's Club to do some shopping. On the way I'll pick up Hanson and he'll be my partner in crime. Guys shopping together - at Sam's Club. Could be trouble.

We're going to meet up with Dan and go out and have a steak and a beer (I may not have a steak since Jen and I went to a new local restaurant for lunch and I'm still full from the Stromboli and Jen's sauce from her gnocchi). Anyway, it will be fun to hang out with the guys.

WH

Your Tax Dollars at Work

You have heard the stories of tax dollars at work in the city. Three workers and two supervisors on one small job. Most of the time it's NYC or Philly that you picture in your mind.

Well, here we are in "small town" Aiken, SC. This job of patching a leak in a water main has been going on for almost two weeks. This morning I saw this group out in front of the house patching the hole.


Your Tax Dollars at Work

There were 5 trucks, 1 small steam roller, and these 6 guys talking and telling stories. I walked up and told them that I wanted to take their picture and put it on the internet. They thought that that was very funny.

Me too!

WH

My Grandmother Rocked

The picture below was taken by my daughter last summer when we visited my parents in New Jersey. It is an oil painting that my Grandmother painted back in the 60's. She rocked.

I remember her painting. I remember her doing the New York Times Crossword Puzzle (never realizing how hard the bastard was). I remember her cooking and just being a great lady - very dignified.



Margot's Painting

Click on the picture to enlarge it.

WH
[posted with ecto]

Counting Down Days Like Christmas

When I was a younger man, I would count down the days to Christmas. As I am sure many of you have done, or still do.

One of the ways that I would try and get those days to go faster would be to reason something like this:

Christmas Day doesn't count because it is THE day that you are counting down to.

The actual day you are counting from doesn't count because it has already happened - or is happening

So, if you are on the 20th of December there are only four days to Christmas - 21-24.

By that reckoning I have three days left to work at this present job. Today doesn't count, neither does next Thursday (I know, I know, Christmas is a morning thing and usually work ends at the end of a day, but cut me some slack). My plan is to work the bulk of my hours Monday - Wednesday and have only a few left on Thursday to make my forty hours for the week. BTW, all salaried employees here have to use the time clock so that the owner can make sure that they are working 40 hours a week - so you HAVE to get your 40, or close to it.

That makes me happy on the inside. Things are fairly manic as it sets in to the owner that I will actually be gone. He would get this anxious when I took a week off for vacation. That vacation anxiety makes the present spasms look like Mr. Rogers Neighborhood.

I received 12 To-Do's via email last night after 9:30 p.m. and 3 more this morning before 7 a.m. - all are frantic, last minute things that have been pending for weeks or months - can't go any quicker than they are moving - but there they are.

My job right now is to do my job well and finish well. It has been exhausting. I'm looking forward to a less hectic weekend.

WH

"Stage" coach Ride

Those of you familiar with the stages of grief will recognize the following:

1. Shock
2. Denial
3. Anger
4. Bargaining
5. Depression
6. Testing
7. Acceptance

As you can read in the above link, or in numerous places, there is no promise that one will actually move through the stages. In fact people can frequently get stuck in a stage and not move on or can cycle back and forth between stages.

Here at the job, since the announcement of my resignation it seems that stages 3 and 4 are biggies in the office ethos.

I think that personally, I am somewhere between 5 and 6 - kind of a tennis match of mental and emotional realizations and movement. The next week has the indications of an arduous one.

Six days and counting. They really can't go fast enough - so of course, they go slower.

WH

Starting To Clarify Some Thoughts

After thinking for a day or so about the weird meeting mentioned below (among other things) with my soon to be ex-employer I am beginning to crystalize some feelings and word pictures that help clarify why I have been so disturbed.

--------------------------------------

Imagine a relationship in which you know a person that you have seen in only one element, one environment. And in that element you know them in only one way. Then you decide to rent an house together, except the friend has a family, so you have a room in the house. In order to help with your part of the rent you do things around the house on a regular basis: cut the grass, edge the sidewalk, clean the pool, vacuum the house, go shopping, and various things to help out. Your friend also knows that you are excellent with interpersonal relationships and asks you to "speak into his life" any time you see an area in which he can improve.

One day you hear a conversation, really an argument, and your friend is berating and minimizing his adult daughter, who lives at home. You try and ignore the force and content of the encounter but cannot. Over the next weeks and months you begin to see patterns of behavior emerging that were not visible to you before - you are in a different environment now. Anger, manipulation, control, exaggeration, and "truth stretching" are part of these patterns. The others in the home are "walking on egg shells". "That's just the way he is" the family members say. "Once the house is paid for he'll get better." "He has a lot on him."

Then you realize that your conscience is nagging you. But, you don't want to mess up the arrangement. You have a place to stay. Your friend has someone to help take care of the house. You make some suggestions, some hints about the things you see. Nothing. After all it's his house, you are but a guest. You realize that this is classic emotional/verbal abuse and codependency. Now you are a part of the "dance of anger".

After a lot of soul searching and agony of heart you write a letter - detailed in incident and broad in scope. Your hope is that it will create a change in behavior. You mention that the friendship is in jeopardy due to the behavior you see. In that letter you also state that you will be moving out at the end of the month. You just can't stay any longer. After all, it is his house.

With your heart in your throat, you speak to your friend and hand him the letter and go your area of the house to go to sleep. You wonder how the letter will be taken. You wait. Night falls. You sleep restlessly and fitfully.

The next morning at breakfast you see a note on the table. In the note your friend says, "thank you for the nice letter" and has left on a trip for three days. You wait.

On the day of your friend's return he says, "let's talk about some things."

You sit down and he says, "the grass looks like it needs to be cut" and "could you paint the mailbox today?" And, "By the way, let's get a list of chores together that you will need to do before you move out. And once you do move out let's work out an agreement that I can call you and you can come back and work on some things until I find another person to rent the room and do the work."

You want to scream, "WHAT ABOUT THE LETTER? WHAT ABOUT YOUR FAMILY? WHAT ABOUT OUR FRIENDSHIP? WHAT ABOUT YOU?"

But you realize that the "non-response" confirms just what you have identified - you are at peace with the decision, but saddened and disturbed at how deep the denial, self-justification, and self-preservation goes. Angry at yourself for not seeing sooner. Helpless to help the others - they are adults and have to decide to not "dance the dance" on their own.

You realize that you have to leave and NOT GO BACK, even to help. It's more than a "just few chores", it's staying enmeshed with and supporting a system that refuses to be addressed or EVEN acknowledged. You will do what you are asked, while you are still there, as long as it doesn't compromise your integrity. This is sicker and more dysfunctional than you ever imagined...

-------------------------------------

Seven days and counting...

WH

Best News All Week

Just received a phone call from my son in Iraq. He hasn't called the past two weekends due to the fact that the phone lines are 1.5 to 2 hours long to get to call. He waited today so he could catch me up.

He is finished with his job and should be home in early October. He is safe right now and the next dangerous thing he will do is drive to his next location with a vehicle caravan. After that he will come stateside.

So, bottom line, in 2 1/2 weeks my son should be home from Iraq. He's saving his leave for Christmas so the holiday's this year should be wonderful.

More later...

WH

That Awkward Space...

OK, so today is the first day back to work after handing in my letter of resignation last week. Other than the previously mentioned email there was no other contact between the doctor and I...until today.

He came in and he, I, and the office manager met to talk about the "transitional" period. I have committed to making this as smooth and cooperative as I can. We have a tech guy coming in this afternoon to cover the IT and Systems Administration side of my job, and there is another person coming in in the morning to talk about the Practice Administration side of things. I have been a busy bee over the past 19 months.

But the meeting was awkward. No mention of the letter that I wrote. No mention of the friendship we shared for 12 years. No apology. No "thank you." No "fuck you." No nothing. Kind of bland and icky. God, it was weird. It was a awkward space to be in...maybe more for him than for me.

Right now we are in business mode, emotions are aside at this point. There is a job to do and that is what I will do.

But as I have told many of my friends, "My stuff is my stuff and your stuff is your stuff." That is not my stuff. It's his. I have to live with my decision he will have to live with his. I want so much to ask, "so, what is your heart telling you? What do you really want to say?"

The next few weeks (actually an 8 day countdown) will be interesting to say the least. I will continue to provide updates and insights.

WH

Uh, OK...

As I mentioned on the post of the 15th I handed in my 2 weeks notice at work. The letter that I gave the owner/doctor was pretty tough to write and, I imagined, tough to read. Here is the final paragraph of the letter...

As I see it, the only way for you to reverse this trend is genuine repentance, asking the entire staff’s forgiveness, humbling yourself, and getting a group of Godly men who will hold you accountable to treating your employee’s well and not letting the love of money control your heart, mind, and behavior.

I have waited for a response since Thursday. This afternoon I received this email from the owner:

Subject Line: Thank you for your kind letter

Message:
Dear Pete,
Thank you for your letter.
I accept full responsibility for all problems that have arisen. I have asked Karen to help me set up a transition team for you to work with over the next 2 weeks.
----------------------------------------

On one hand I am glad for the response. On the other hand it feels a bit weird. I wouldn't characterize the letter as "kind". They weren't problems that "arose" they were people who were hurt, promises that were broken, and confidence that was lost.

Time will tell if there will be genuine change. I hope that things do get better for the staff and environment there. I truly want the best for all involved.

WH

The Big News!

I mentioned that this was going to be a huge week for me. Here's why:

I am resigning today - giving my two weeks notice at HealthFirst

Suffice it to say that it has been a character thing. I could post my letter of resignation for all to read but let me summarize instead. The reasons come down to how the owner treats his staff, views and handles money, and represents (or misrepresents) the Kingdom of God. All three of those things are interrelated and I have just come to the point that it is not my company, he can run it any way that he wants, I just can't be part of it any longer.

It is all about principle - just can't be management, and represent leadership here, and by my silence support the system. So I am speaking out and leaving. They had to go hand in hand. I spoke through the letter, as to try and verbalize would not be met with an open ear.

My hope is that my move will empower others to make choices that will be in their best interest.

I will write later about the outcome.

WH

[posted with ecto]

Tracking My Son In Iraq

One of the greatest stresses that I have is the fact that my son is in Iraq. The first few weeks were the worst for me. Yet, as usual, you can never predict how grace is going to help you until you are in the situation - that is the surprising grace of God.

However, there are little things that can help...like debit cards. Usually my son calls on Saturday from Iraq - this past Saturday he didn't call. I don't know why but it can get one to thinking about what may or may not happen - there was an operation in Al Afar that he may have been part of - I just don't know.

I take care of his banking while he is gone - finance is something that I like and something that Jason is still trying to get a handle on - so if I want to see if he is OK I can log into his account and see recent activity. I checked today and there it is - debits at the PX in his area of Iraq. I'm sure that it's for chips, pizza, or some other basic comforts. It's never a big charge, just enough to comfort me. The boy is OK, he's still spending money and eating junk.

You go boy! Hope I see him in a month or so. My eyes tear up just thinking about getting my arms around his neck.

WH

[posted with ecto]

Beta Testing Again:)

For the past few years I have been beta testing for a BIG money management and tax return software company. For some reason I was passed over this past year for the money management software but just received my invitation to participate in the tax software beta, for the first time.

Obviously I can't say too much without risking getting a slap on the pee-pee by the company, but the new version is pretty cool:)

The best part of the testing is that we get a free copy at the end of testing - I like that.

WH

[posted with ecto]

Always Good to See The 'Rents - In Law 'Rents That Is

Bob and Jody stopped in on their way back to Amelia Island, FL. They are fun!

Jody loves to take pictures and we are beneficiaries of many pictures. Jody doesn't always like her pictures and says yucky things to them when they don't turn out right. She's funny! Jody also loves her iBook and especially iPhoto - she sometimes she gets mad at it too, because it eats her pictures. Jody had a HUGE revelation yesterday when she realized - through great tech support by the way - that her pictures weren't gone they were in the iPhoto trash.

Here is a snippet of conversation with tech support (aka Pete [me]):

Jody: "I lost a picture again."
Tech Support: "How did that happen?"
Jody: "I don't know. It just went away. I did something and it's gone."
TS: "What did you do?"
Jody: "I don't know."
TS: "Have you checked iPhoto's trash?"
Jody: "iPhoto has a trash? I didn't know that."
TS: "Let's take a look. Hummm. Look, the trash has 473 pictures in it. I guess that you have never dumped iPhoto's trash."
Jody: "Yeah! There's my picture."

All fixed!

I may talk about Tech Support issue #34123 later, with regard to the pictures not being bright enough on the screen. Actually, now that I think about it I probably won't.

Jody, I know that you read this. And you know that this is in good fun and that I enjoy helping you. Please don't cut me off from the manicotti.

The truth be told. All of the tech support that I have to do now is easy since Bob and Jody are switchers. I love working on Macs!

WH

Big Week Ahead

This is going to be a huge week for me. I'll elaborate later.

Here in Charleston, SC, everybody is all ramped up about the tropical storm/hurricane Ophelia. Sadly, one of the young men who works here has a friend who went surfing yesterday afternoon, in the rough waves from the storm, and disappeared. They found his board but no trace of him yet. I am hoping for the best but preparing for the worst.

Jen emailed me this morning that the dogs were playing chase around the back yard this morning. One would grab the ring toy and the other would chase, then they would switch places. Probably the first time that they have really started to get along in an interactive way. They still have the compulsory fight each day, but they are SLOWLY getting better. I hope that they will be all through with their fighting crap after a month or so.

Lily is such a good dog. She is a typical mellow hound type dog - sleeps ALL day and night. Cinnamon is such a freaking spaz. They are polar opposites to be sure.

Jen's parents are coming through tomorrow for a visit as they travel from North Carolina back to home in Amelia Island, FL. I'll get to see them as I go back to Aiken Tuesday night. It's always fun - and they like the new dog. Bob, Jen's Dad, calls her boots since she has white "boots" on her feet.

Anyhoo - back to work.

WH

A Day of Surprises

My main task today was to change the disc brake pads on the Aurora. Hey, I've always changed my brakes and this job would be no different - right. Got up early, took the front rotors off and dropped them off at the tire place to be turned, and went off to Advance Auto to get the pads.

Once back at the house I decided to change the pads on the front and get the back rotors off. That way when I went back to get the fronts I would drop off the backs and by the time the front pads were installed the backs rotors would be done and I would just have to do a quick install.

As anyone who has worked on cars knows, the best way to determine how long a job will take is make an estimate, double that and add another 25 %. This job would be no different. When I moved to the back calipers I realized very quickly that I wasn't going to be able to press the calipers in with a c-clamp like I had done on the front. They just wouldn't fit. I tried channel locks, no dice. I tried tapping the calipers in - shit. I tried a pulley and gear puller - crap. By this time I had to get back to the shop and pick up my rear rotors.

When I got there I told the mechanic that I was having a hard time and he just snickered. He said that was why he stopped helping people fix brakes in their back yards. You see, the calipers don't press in - they screw in! He then reached up on the top of a shelf and opened a once red box, now gray with years of ground in grease and brake dust. Ahhh! "The disc brake caliper tool," he says with a hint of reverence in his voice. I stood looking at the box and begged, "I'll leave my credit card if you let me borrow the tool." He says, "I would but it isn't mine. They belong to Donnie." That's the guy at the front desk.

Did you ever notice that the guys at auto shops are all named, Ernie, Donnie, Jimmy, Johnny, Ricky. They all end with an "e" sound. I feel like I'm back in South Philly with Tony and Vinnie.

Anyhow, Donnie lets me take the tool back to the house and I get the calipers SCREWED in and the brakes are done. So I saved us BIG money and got that sense of satisfaction of doing your own stuff.

Now for the payback to being cocky about my brakes.

A few months ago I mentioned that I had an eye exam and am now wearing "blended" contacts - one eye has a close vision lens and one has a long vision lens. I ordered lenses online (with a great rebate by the way) and they arrived today - I really needed them since I have been wearing my Acuvue 2, 2 week lenses, for TWO MONTHS now. I went into the bathroom took out my lenses and commenced to put my new left lens in - ahhhh. If felt so nice and clean. I put my right lens in and it was like looking through a kaleidoscope. "What the f%$#!" I took out the lens and made sure that it wasn't inside out. Nope. Looked fine. Put it back in. Same weird view. I thought, "Darn, I ordered the wrong lenses." I checked the prescription - it was right. Then I thought, "Maybe they packaged the wrong lenses." I had a spare from the appointment so I took it out and just as I was ready to tear it open it hit me.

I hadn't taken out my old lens from my FREAKING eye - DUH!

I had put the new lens right ON TOP of my old lens - twice - and didn't notice. I would like to attribute this to the thinness of the new lenses but it really had to do with my stupidity. Now that's funny.

I peeled the old lens off of my eye, installed the new lens and "volia!" Clear sight.

I hope that it was as funny for you as it was to my wife. She loved it!

WH

Lily, The Magic Poop Machine

Our new dog Lily, has a few issues that we are trying to deal with - she doesn't know many commands so her obedience is not very sharp, she still jumps up on you when you come home, jumps on the bed, and the topic of the blog today - she poops at the speed of light when we take her out for a walk.

We have discovered that when Lily wants to poop, she doesn't behave like most dogs. Other dogs pace, sniff, pace, crisscross the area, sniff some more, find just the right area, position themselves accordingly, and finally poop. Lily just walks on the grass and poop flys out of her butt - and it has to be grass in a yard while we are on the walk, not our own yard.

The first time this happened Jen and I were walking the dogs and they were just meandering on the edge of a front lawn. All of the sudden Lily does this instant squat thing and out of her butt flies poop. Jen screams, "what did she just do?" I mumbled something about the speed and the fact that I don't have a plastic bag to pick the poop up with. We walk away, hoping that no one saw the incident. Embarrassed and mortified.

So, we are always on alert and don't give Lily much time on grassy knolls.

Tonight we have to change precautions - Lily pooped RIGHT ON THE STREET. Yep, right out on the asphalt. I felt like we were in New York City. Then Jen looks at me and says, "can you do something about this?" "Like what?" is my response. She says, "like train her not to do that." Right. How about sewing her butt shut?

We'll after some discussion the truth comes out - Jen wants me to MAKE the dog not poop because she not does not want to PICK UP the poop. The thought of having to place a plastic zip-lock bag over a warm pile of dog poop, grab it, turn the baggie inside out on the offensive fecal matter, and picking it up, is enough to make her puke. So in her reasoning she would rather have poop in someone's yard that her vomit - or worse than that - both.

So, we have a challenge here. Any Ideas? By the way, what kind of diapers can a dog wear?

WH

Some Random Thoughts

I am enjoying myself this evening in Charleston (I still miss my wife and being at home). I'm sitting on the couch in the downstairs "apartment" of my friend's house, sipping an ice cold beer and watching the Braves game. This has been a great baseball season for the NL East and the wild card race for the NL. It secretly gives me hope for the NHL, who totally fucked their fan base with the strike - baseball had an ugly one a few years back and it took a while to get the fans back. I love hockey but will not watch a game this year on principle alone.

My dogs are psycho. They are actually getting along better than last week but...the fights that they do have are fewer in number but greater in intensity. They went all day yesterday without a fight, just some growling and posturing. Then last night they went into a full fledged, "stallion-like", standing on back legs fight! It was awful. Teeth were bared and snapping. The ironic thing was that Cinnamon, the "bitchy" dog was trying to be friendly and "laid-back" Lily went ballistic on Cinnamon and tried to rip her face off. Well, Cinnamon couldn't back down (being Alpha in her mind) so they fought. I sent them to their respective corners of the house and all was well. So far...

I am looking forward to the couples "class" that Jen and I are facilitating this Friday. We have some young couples who attended a Marriage Conference and started some conflict soon after - it was the first time for some of them to deal with "real" issues. I hope to help them with communicating and avoiding the bullshit as they negotiate life together. Fun!

Well, the Braves game is almost over and it will be bedtime for me. Up at 5 am and into the office early - 6ish - to do it all over again.

WH

Been Pre-Occupied Lately

I have neglected the blog for a few days as I have been pre-occupied with some things.

First - Most of what has captured most of my attention has been the disaster relief for the evacuees from the Gulf Coast. One thing I noticed was that if you want something fucked up get the government authorities involved - I am tired of finger pointing and analysis - there will be time for that, just get busy. If you want something accomplished get the military involved - tell them what you want done and then get the hell out of the way. I am impressed with the speed and efficiency with which the military was able to accomplish the tasks they were given, and still being given. Props to them.

Second, I have been chilling out. Work has been especially stressful lately. I may elaborate later but I do not want to get dooced, that would suck:) This weekend has been great - beautiful weather, hanging out with friends, being home with Jen, watching college football, just relaxing. Of course I have been doing the regular stuff too - picking up dog poop (two dogs full now), cutting grass, and honey-do's (although Jen doesn't have a bunch of those for me).

So I thought that I would take a minute and jot a few thoughts down before dinner, dog walk, and college football.

I hope that your weekend has been relaxing - remember to help those displaced by the hurricane.

WH

So You Can Help With The Disaster

Here is a link to a number of sites that are available where you can donate to helping the victims of the hurricane:

Katrina Aid Links


As always, do some research and make sure that you are giving to an organization that uses money for actually helping, and not administrative overhead.

My wife and I have decided that we will open our home to a couple or single women who need a place to stay if they get this far east. Other than that we will send money to help with food and water.

WH

Between Self-Righteousness and Self-Gratification

I just finished teaching a short series from the book of Galatians at church. The main point that Paul is trying to communicate is that there are two extremes that are aberrations of a true relationship with Christ.

The first is self-righteousness, seen as presented by the Judaizers. These folks were telling the Galatians that the simple belief that they had in Christ was not enough for salvation. True believers, according to the Judaizers, had to be circumcised if they were male and all people had to obey the Jewish Law - festivals, sabbaths, etc in order to be saved. The Judaizers were requiring standards that they couldn't keep but, like all self-righteousness people, have followed just enough external rules so they LOOK like they are righteousness. The problem here is that there is no real heart change - just exercises in outward behavior. Righteousness can not be gained by obeying The Law.

The second extreme is self-gratification. These folks were Galatians who behaved as if their freedom in Christ meant that they could do whatever they wanted and there were no consequences. They took grace as a license to act any way that they wanted. The logic goes like this: Since I cannot work for my salvation, and righteousness cannot be gained through rules and behavior, it is not kept by good behavior. Ergo, salvation is free and not affected by my behavior. Paul asked them to be careful that their freedom wasn't used to hurt others - remember the construct that Jesus communicated - "Love God, Love Others." That was the freedom that we are welcomed into. The point being this; why, if we can now live like we were never able to - in love, in relationship with God, in true community - would we go back and live like we were? Kind of stupid, huh?

OK, that being said, one of the things that I was pointing out was, if I had to choose, I would rather move toward the "free middle" from a position of self-gratification than from self-righteousness. The reason being that if you are gratifying self, you are much easier to admit that you have been behaving stupidly and destructively - since for the most part you and everybody else knows this, and realizes that there is a higher road to take - morally speaking.

However, moving toward the "free middle" from a position of self-righteousness means admitting that you have been wrong when you are portraying yourself as "right". You have put others down, manipulated others from a position of "truth possessor", and portrayed yourself as the EXAMPLE of righteousness. This makes you vulnerable to those whom you have been oppressing and correcting. You can get pretty beat up. You have to eat WAY MORE humble pie. Think about Paul after his conversion, he had some problems integrating with the church - Barney helped him a great deal back then.

The really good news is that no matter which side you mat be on, we are all invited to the "free middle" - an experience of bringing life into our relationships, community, job, whatever realm we are living in. That is what the "fruit of the Spirit" is like. Life giving. Love giving. Self Giving.

At the end of the Galatian letter Paul writes, "Can’t you see the central issue in all this? It is not what you and I do—submit to circumcision, reject circumcision. It is what God is doing, and he is creating something totally new, a free life!" (Gal. 6:15 - The Message) This is the "free middle". The wide place where we can enjoy the freedom that God has given us and share that freedom with others in practical ways - being kind, patient, self-controlled, finishing what we start, compassion, among other things.

What an invitation. I'm all in.

WH