One of the best things about "moments of clarity" is that the "clarity" which comes usually requires some attention and work. This way the benefits of the process are valued as much, or even more than, the result.
I have always shied away from "crisis" theology - the belief that we are changed in a moment: at the front of the church, at the hands of person praying for you, at the whisper of your own prayer. I am NOT saying that there is no change in a crisis. This can surely happen. My own experience however is that there are many people who depend on the crisis and live from one crisis event to another - the reality is that there is not usually much change in their lives.
The process however makes more sense to me. This is the fact that change generally requires hard work, determined choices and sweat equity.
A good word picture may be our memory. Some people have a photographic memory - they can read something once or look at something once and remember it without much effort. Most of us are not so fortunate. We had to memorize multiplication tables, words, formulas, directions, etc. It required time and work and we have experienced benefits from the effort.
My "moment of clarity" has required continual effort. Thinking differently. Acting differently. Moving differently. I value the time put in and am glad for the result. Damn it's hard. I keep reminding myself that I put one foot before another and move forward. In our house we call this "plodding." Aptly named after our hound-mix dog, Lily. When she is on a walk, she will go the length of the leash and lean forward, moving toward whatever her intended target is - she is plodding. So am I.
WH
9.24.2007
9.22.2007
My Monthly Blog:/
Well, it seems that I am getting to post monthly and not every few days as I have planned, or actually done in the past. I'm exhausted just thinking about what has happened in the last month.
Jessie is doing well at school and UGA is a better place with her there. She was able to come back to Aiken last weekend and it was so good to see her. Watching your children grow independent is such rewarding experience.
Jason is going back to Iraq next March. I just recently discovered that he actually volunteered for this which created some confusion for Jen and I. Our hope is that once this last deployment is completed he will be done with the Marine Corp and make the adjustment back to civilian life. I cannot imagine what he has gone through in the past 3 years. He mentioned that he may come visit at the end of October - that would be great. One of my values is that my home is a safe place - emotionally, physically, relationally, etc. I'm glad that my children fell this way.
Following the separation of my parents (my dad left my mom - see two posts ago) I have been trying to get my Mom situated. Mom does not want to stay in the home that they moved into when they came to Aiken. It's too quiet, lonely, and close to where my Dad and his paramour live. She was particularly interested in a local independent living facility called Trinity Lutheran Home here in Aiken. We went and visited a few weeks ago and were prepared to make application and get on the waiting list, usually 6 months to 1 year. Amazingly, they actually had a room available that day.
I was able to get the lawyers on both sides motivated enough to release the necessary funds to secure the room and my Mom will be moving in on October 1st. This is a great relief for her and all of us. Trinity is going to provide a much needed social facet to Mom's life as well as structure and security. I am so thankful that this is going quickly.
Real estate is still making an uphill climb and there are a few big deals in the works. The residential properties I have are not seeing much activity but the commercial is doing well. Additionally, I have bit the bullet (or as I told Jen 'sold my soul') and applied for full-time work at UPS. This is solely a financial decision. If the market makes an upswing and I can leave UPS I will do so in a heartbeat.
Last note - a few weeks ago I had a moment of clarity. I will not go into all of the details but I realized that I had adopted a victim mentality with regard to my circumstances and schedule. I had lapsed into a state of least resistance and allowed a level of mediocrity to creep into my life - my entire life. Following my 'a-ha' experience Jen and I have had some of the most difficult and rewarding discussions of our lives together. I have the most understanding, caring, and beautiful wife in the world. I am of all husbands, most fortunate.
My prayer and hope for you all is that you have someone that you can be real with, and safe.
WH
Jessie is doing well at school and UGA is a better place with her there. She was able to come back to Aiken last weekend and it was so good to see her. Watching your children grow independent is such rewarding experience.
Jason is going back to Iraq next March. I just recently discovered that he actually volunteered for this which created some confusion for Jen and I. Our hope is that once this last deployment is completed he will be done with the Marine Corp and make the adjustment back to civilian life. I cannot imagine what he has gone through in the past 3 years. He mentioned that he may come visit at the end of October - that would be great. One of my values is that my home is a safe place - emotionally, physically, relationally, etc. I'm glad that my children fell this way.
Following the separation of my parents (my dad left my mom - see two posts ago) I have been trying to get my Mom situated. Mom does not want to stay in the home that they moved into when they came to Aiken. It's too quiet, lonely, and close to where my Dad and his paramour live. She was particularly interested in a local independent living facility called Trinity Lutheran Home here in Aiken. We went and visited a few weeks ago and were prepared to make application and get on the waiting list, usually 6 months to 1 year. Amazingly, they actually had a room available that day.
I was able to get the lawyers on both sides motivated enough to release the necessary funds to secure the room and my Mom will be moving in on October 1st. This is a great relief for her and all of us. Trinity is going to provide a much needed social facet to Mom's life as well as structure and security. I am so thankful that this is going quickly.
Real estate is still making an uphill climb and there are a few big deals in the works. The residential properties I have are not seeing much activity but the commercial is doing well. Additionally, I have bit the bullet (or as I told Jen 'sold my soul') and applied for full-time work at UPS. This is solely a financial decision. If the market makes an upswing and I can leave UPS I will do so in a heartbeat.
Last note - a few weeks ago I had a moment of clarity. I will not go into all of the details but I realized that I had adopted a victim mentality with regard to my circumstances and schedule. I had lapsed into a state of least resistance and allowed a level of mediocrity to creep into my life - my entire life. Following my 'a-ha' experience Jen and I have had some of the most difficult and rewarding discussions of our lives together. I have the most understanding, caring, and beautiful wife in the world. I am of all husbands, most fortunate.
My prayer and hope for you all is that you have someone that you can be real with, and safe.
WH
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