11.22.2003

Thought provoking - Marriage and Fidelity

I was browsing through my favorite bloggers and read the November 22nd post by Le Prêtre Noir. It is a an editorial from a conserative New York Times writer. Interesting perspective. I'm sure that it scares the Far Right to death but many things do.

The truth is that gay marriage cannot be blamed for the erosion of heterosexual marriage. We hetero's have done that all by ourselves.

One of the things that I am glad about regarding the whole dialog on gay marriage is that people are actually applying rational and relational thought to the issue and not just charged emotions.

WH

11.17.2003

Protect Our Communities

One of the somber lessons that I have learned in years of living in church community is that there are people who do not have the best interests of God's Kingdom in mind. Many times we find ourselves building "a kingdom" instead of "The Kingdom". Motives are polluted with selfish desire, self advancement, or recognition hunger.

This is not, however, the worst problem we face. The worst is the predators. Those who know that there are weak and vulnerable people in communities. Those who gravitate to those communities knowing that if they would just use a few key terms, "insider" lingo, spiritual terms that are "passwords" into the fold, they can worm into the position of power and take advantage - causing havoc and pain in the lives of those who are most in need of healing and hope.

Why is this so? Why do people find a place to operate in abusive ways when the community of God should be a place where the weak are safe? The main reason is that we have been, for way too long, too trusting of those who pass a litmus test of "faith" that is too shallow and easily faked. As I mentioned above, people who name drop God, or the latest worship phase, or best seller, or pet theological view become accepted.

It's a well known fact that one of the easiest place to find vulnerable women is church. In some churches anyone who answers the call to work with the nursery, children, or teens can do so without any reservation. That's suicide. I cannot tell you how many people I have spoken to over the years who have been used, abused, violated, and fractured in communities of faith by those who they trusted. Read the papers.

It almost happened this week in our church. This guy showed up - day one in our community. Dropped some phrases, a well placed "hey brother" and went out to eat with a group afterwards. Next thing you know he's trying to give his phone number to one of the single women of the church - all because he, in his words, "is a kind hearted person and she looked a little down." She's VERY uncomfortable and gets a bad feeling about the whole exchange. Oh, he's married, and did I mention that this was his first time EVER in our community. Who was he kidding. Rat bastard.

Later that week he just decides to show up at the small group that this same girl attends. God works in mysterious ways, huh? There it is - he's a predator. You see, here is where we have blown it in the past. "Let the guy stay." "Doesn't God love everybody?" "Maybe we can help him." Now way! Not at the expense of this young lady.

He was confronted before he even gets in the door. He was asked not to say anything to her. He was told that we did not put with that type of behavior. He was told that although his motives couldn't be questioned, his wisdom could be. How do you think that he responded? He got defensive, tried to use the Bible to show that he was being judged and disappeared back to whatever place that he came from. Bu-bye.

Maybe it's just that we are not "equipped" to handle people like this. Maybe we aren't yet mature enough as a church. Or maybe we should stop being dumb asses and protect those in our communities who are being targeted.

Tell you what. If you think that this is harsh, send me your church's address and the next predator that shows up at our door I'll send your way.

WH

11.13.2003

It is a cold day in hell...

Read the story and find out what amazing, earth-shattering, news rocked the campus of a mid-west college - - Breaking news!!

WH

11.05.2003

The Etch A Sketch Years

I am the parent of two teenagers. One is a 14 year old young lady. The other a 17 year old young man. This particular entry has to do with the elder child.

I know that I have spoken to him about relatively easy things to remember. Things that require some, but not much, thought. Now those of you with teenagers will relate to this - Have you ever wondered what happened to the various requests that you have built into your children over the years? I mean, this is not recent stuff. It usually consists of areas and issues that have been the topic of many requests and corrections over the years.

For instance, I know that many of us, as parents, have communicated to our kids a simple request like, "Please don't leave food in your room." Now this is not just controlling parenting. This is because, at least in our part of the U.S., the deep south, we have ants. Ants happen to like easy meals and aren't easily deterred once a food source is readily available. In addition to ants, there is mold, and in the slow process of food becoming petrified, it stinks as it rots. I would think that these are fair and reasonable reasons to not allow dirty dishes and half eaten bags of snack foods in the room.

As I was relating some of these thoughts to a friend she hit upon the perfect metaphor - teens are like an etch-a-sketch. If you have ever played with or owned an etch-a-sketch, you know exactly what she is talking about. If you haven't, click on the link above and discover the wonder of this toy. The main point for this discussion, is that the etch-a-sketch, when you have a picture that you no longer want, when turned over and shaken, erases all evidence of the work that you have produced.

In a similar way at some point in a teens life, they get turned over and shaken, thereby erasing much, if not all, of the "imprint" that has been made.

"Jason, please put your glass on a coaster and not the table."

The sound of the Etch-a-sketch shaking, "Why? It's OK there."

"Hey Jas, could you not park behind Jen's car in the garage so she can get out if she needs to?"

Shuchaka-shutchka-shake - "Is she going out later?"

"Could you please clean the bathroom, specifically the toilet, since it's all yellow and nasty?"

Shuchaka-shuckaha-shake "Is anyone coming over?"

"Did you remember to get that ___________________ (fill in the blank) that I asked you for?"

Shuchaka-shutchka-shake "Huh?"

It actually makes for some great moments of disbelief, wonder, and amazement. I can only hope that some day there is some deeper imprint that resurfaces after some time of amnesia.

For now I just hear the sound, Shuchaka-shutchka-shake.

WH

10.26.2003

It's All About The Eyes

This story comes from Henri Nouwen.

One day a young fugitive, trying to hide himself from the enemy, entered a small village. Th people were kind to him and offered him a place to stay. But when the soldiers who sought the fugitive asked where he was hiding, everyone became very fearful. The soldiers threatened to burn the village and kill every man in it unless the young man was handed over to them before dawn. The people went to the minister and asked him what to do. The minister, torn between handing the boy over to the enemy or having his people killed, withdrew to his room and read his Bible, hoping to find an answer before dawn. After many hours, in the early morning his eyes fell on these words: "It is better that one man dies that the whole people be lost."
Then the minister closed the Bible, called the soldiers and told them where the boy was hidden. And after the soldiers led the fugitive away to be killed, there was a feast in the village because the minister had saved the lives of the people. But the minister did not celebrate. Overcome with a deep sadness, he remained in his room. That night, an angel came to him, and asked, "What have you done?" The minister said, "I handed over the fugitive to the enemy." Then the angel said, "But don't you know that you have handed over the Messiah?' "How could I know?" the minister replied anxiously. Then the angel said: "If, instead of reading your Bible, you had visited this young man just once and looked into his eyes, you would have known."

Powerful stuff. Who have I handed over to the enemy, thinking that I was doing what was best, with the support of Scripture? Maybe I should spend more time looking into the eyes of others - I may find that God resides in them. I may find that I have more in common with them that I would be comfortable with. Risk is good. Life is precious.

WH

10.24.2003

Solar Storms are Here

Here is a link to SOHO - The Solar and Heliospheric Observatory where you can see the latest pictures of the sun. Very cool. We will probably experience some disruption to our satellite TV, cell phones, and wireless technologies over the next few days.

Amazing!

WH

PS - (10/26/03) Thankfully it was a non-event. But when you go to the link, click on the "The Sun Now" in the upper left hand corner. The pictures are amazing and I saved a series of the 1024x1024 for my desktop pictures that change every 5 seconds.

10.23.2003

Opportunities That Are Ours

One of the situations that we face in our life is the missed opportunities and chances to fulfill the destiny that it uniquely ours.

There are times that we are presented with a place of opportunity where the potential and resources converge and something great can happen. Maybe not great in that we get noticed or receive recognition for something. Nor that it is earth shattering, but great in that we find fulfillment and discover, for a moment (or longer), what we were born to do or be. This is, I believe, what gives us the greatest sense of satisfaction we can attain.

What can happen, however, is that we use the resources and opportunity for ourselves instead of the fulfillment of the destiny. The consequence is that we settle for the status quo (or less). I have discovered that the result is complaint. A whining that nothing ever goes right, our situation would have been different only if… and all manner of excuses for not fulfilling our potential.

In these moments I find myself blaming God, or whomever I find convenient at the moment to “blame shift”. “The woman you gave me made me eat.” “It was the serpent.” One of the oldest defense mechanisms in the human experience - blame.

The truth is that when we are stingy and selfish there are consequences. I believe that God has created the universe with certain principles built in, as well as His interaction with us. He, as the perfect parent, cannot let us get away with this self-centered behavior. He is stingy toward us. Not in a mean, vindictive way, but mercifully. The same way that I, as a parent, cannot let the selfishness of one of my children be rewarded.

The beautiful truth is that God is calling us back to the original task, continually and lovingly. He wants us to experience our destiny. He wants us to shape the future with Him. He delights to be surprised be us and our creativity.

To be made in God’s image – to be creative, imaginative, and live with a sense of wonder – is an amazing gift. Live it well. While there is breath in you it’s never too late.

WH

10.22.2003

Back at The Laptop

Yeah! My iBook was delivered this afternoon. New logic board. everything is updated and ready to go. Hope to be writing more than about the laptop.

WH

10.20.2003

Laptop Withdraw

As awful as it sounds I am amputated without my laptop of one year. Airborne picked it up today to have it serviced. As I have read the discussion groups there are people who have had as many as four logic boards replaced on thier iBooks. That would be a pain...

Anyway, locked down to a desktop isn't too bad.

WH

10.17.2003

Wisdom and Controversy

Thinking about some of the present controversies that are being experienced in major Christian denominations, I am even more enthralled with how Jesus handled the controversies of his day. Different groups were constantly trying to get him to agree with or oppose them so they could "cubby-hole" him.

It didn't matter if a particular group were conservatives (Pharisee's), moderates (Sadducees), or non-theological politicals (Herodians), He was able to respond to each situation without defensiveness and usually sent the particular questioner(s) away with the proverbial tail between the legs.

There are so many wonderful instances of these encounters to use for an example that it is hard to pick one. But my favorite is the encounter Jesus had with all three groups on the same day. The meeting is found in Matthew 22:15-45.

Three times they tried to trap him with loaded questions. Three times he answered in a way that they hadn't prepared for...beautiful. At the end of the dialog Jesus then asks them a question that if they answered "yes" or "no" to, they would have looked like fools. So they remained silent, skulked away, and renewed their fervor in planning to have him killed.

Today, I wonder how he would answer conservatives who asked, "What should we do about homosexual people in our churches?" How about moderate/liberals asking, "Surely taking a unborn child's life is the choice of the mother, isn't it?" Or even the question from the political, non-religious group, "Who's side are you on in the war against terrorism?"

I don't presume to know how he would answer. I do think that we would be surprised, angered, and/or embarrassed. Each of us would have to regroup - that's for sure. Jesus is like that - no allegiances to anyone but the rule and reign of God - the Kingdom.

That's why I want, and need, him to invade my life. I need that type of confrontation to my systems of belief. They always seem ironclad or at least make sense until they are exposed to real mercy, wisdom, and grace.

++help me God to ask the right questions, not ones that make my position look good - thank you that you will not be manipulated for my own purposes, even if I pretend that you are ++

WH

In The Fire

I have a friend who is going through a really hard time right now. Someone really encouraged her with an e-mail about what it's like to live with an addict. You can read it here - In The Fire - and also maybe drop her a note of encouragement.

Hang in there gal. You do have friends who care.

WH

Laptop Meltdown!!

Well, it was bound to happen. Especially following my rave for Apple yesterday concerning iTunes, iPod, etc. My trusted iBook laptop has started to give up the ghost. Specifically, the logic board is going bad.

Now, not all is lost. I have two other computers with which to work BUT they are in other rooms and aren't wireless. More importantly, I purchased the Applecare program that extends the coverage two years beyond the usual first year of warranty. In fact I got it two weeks ago in preparation for the expiration of year one at the end of November.

First indications of a problem started with the freezing of the computer requiring rebooting. Next, the really cool stuff - scattered horizontal lines and finally a blob like change of screen color that was like the ooze from some sci-fi flick.

Anyhow, my laptop will be in the shop for about two days. I am actually typing on it now hoping to finish this post before it goes wacky.

My next step is backing up stuff and finally saving some of the drafts for blogs that I have started.

I will continue to live dangerously over the weekend, using the unit without walking around the room, just to save me the pleasure of watching the cool lines and blobs of green and brwon color.

Moral of the story - Have a back up plan and on major electronic purchases get the extended warranty. Saved me from some huge depressing moments.

WH

10.16.2003

Ok I'm A Total Geek

I must confess that I am a total fucking Mac geek. We have four Macs, 2 iPods, and all kinds of old Apple crap laying around the house.

So, no surprise that I am totally stoked about the ne stuff that Apple released today. Read here - Apple launches iTunes for Windows | CNET News.com

Actually, I am pretty amazed at a company that has been declared dead at least four times. Oh, a side note - if you had purchased Apple stock last year your investment would have doubled. $4.4 billion dollars in cash can keep you around for a long time.

Ok, I'll settle down.

WH

10.15.2003

My Wife Is Free From Her IV

This past week my wife and I traveled to Columbia, SC to get her PFT (Pulmonary Function Test) results and find out how the latest clean out went.

I'm glad to report that her tests were improved enough to remove the IV line that was in her arm (for the non-squeamish it's like a piece of latex angel hair spaghetti in her vein). The doctor prescribed more oral antibiotics for the next 10 days, but that's nothing compared to the IV crap.

Yeah! More sleep for Jen. In fact she has so much energy that she's made two big meals the last two nights - fetticini alfredo last night for my birthday, and lasagna tonight. I'll be a fat as a tick soon:)

Thanks for all the prayers and thoughts.

WH

10.12.2003

As A Little Child

This past weekend my wife and I went to a birthday party for her coworker's 2 year old son. It was an interesting scenario when we arrived - the only two year old at the party was birthday boy. The crowd consisted of his parents, grandparents, and assorted friends.

The most peculiar part of the afternoon, and the focus of this post, came when it was time to open the presents. There were a number of gifts for the little guy. Remember, this is his second birthday, he doesn't quite get the idea yet - at least the idea that WE think that he should get- so he's fairly unimpressed with all of the fuss.

One of the first gifts he opens was a plastic fire engine. This like a Fisher Price toy. Sturdy, lots of buttons that, when pushed, make noises, and those damn twist-ties that hold the toy to the cardboard so that...? What purpose do they serve anyway?

The little guy's eyes pop out. He is totally enamored by the toy. He starts riding on it, pushing the buttons, trying to pry the little men out of their seats (they are wired in with twist-ties too). A picture of total focus and satisfaction; happy as a pig in... well, you get the idea.

The problem was that the parents were trying to get him to open the other presents. He wanted nothing to do with any other gift. In fact, watching this fiasco, I was thinking "why does he have to open the other presents anyway?" Whatever the reason was, it had nothing to do with the child. Eventually, the fire truck had to be taken away from him so he would turn his attention to the other presents. After some effort on the part of his parents all of the presents were opened and he was able to return to playing with his fire truck again. Life was good.

As I reflected on this I realized that this is a picture of contentment, or lack thereof. Birthday boy doesn't yet have the mentality of looking past what he has to what he can obtain next - like we more mature folks have perfected. He was oblivious to the other gifts (though they were rightfully his) because he was intent on enjoying what he had in his hands.

What a lesson for many of us who are caught in a never ending pursuit of "whatever." I wonder how long it would have taken for him to eventually open all of the other gifts if he hadn't been prompted? Maybe days? Sadly, in a few years he may learn the ways of the discontented...looking for the next thing.

Until then, maybe he can be an inspiration for me to be content with what I already have - exploring life with intense wonder and curiosity.

Maybe that's part of what Jesus meant when he said that we should be "like a child?"

God, reignite child-like wonder, imagination, and curiosity in us all.


WH

Community Is Important

The following article ran last week in our local paper. Many of us can state that this is true based on our own personal experience. Broken Heart Can Cause Real Pain

WH

10.10.2003

Justice in Jail

Some of you may not like this story, but having seen the damage of abuse over the years, I have to agree with the mother of the victim that it must have been damn therapeutic.

Child Molester Beaten By Past Victim

WH

10.08.2003

National Cystic Fibrosis Awareness Week - October 12 -18th

On September 25, the U.S. Senate passed a resolution declaring October 12 - 18, 2003 as National Cystic Fibrosis Awareness Week. Thanks to the efforts of Sen. Ben Nighthorse Campbell of Colorado, who sponsored the resolution along with 19 cosponsors, the national spotlight has, once again, been placed on CF and the importance of supporting CF research and care programs. Here is a link - Cystic Fibrosis Awareness Week.

Maybe you could look at the suggestions and increase your awareness.

Thanks,

WH

10.06.2003

My Hero...

As I mentioned in an earlier post, my wife is going through a "clean out" (or "tune up", depending on who you talk to) for her cystic fibrosis.

The first week was a bitch. Insomnia, soreness, etc. due to side effects from the medication. She takes heavy doses of antibiotics intravenously twice a day, while working part time, being a step-mother to two teenagers, and living with me (the real challenge). In other parts of the country, and in Europe, people are routinely admitted into the hospital for these treatments.

Her second week was better after a medication change. She starts her third week today. Yeah!! Thanks for your prayers and thoughts. Down the stretch we come...

My wife is my hero, and my best friend. I am most blessed.

WH

10.05.2003

Distraction here at Home

I've been a bit remiss in posting to the blog for the past weekend as I am a sports freak. This past few days have been filled with great sports games - football, baseball, and soccer. This evening I am watching the Atlanta Braves hoping that they get into the next round of the playoffs.

I hope for a temporary return to sanity and blogging tomorrow - well, blogging at least.

WH