A Day of Surprises

My main task today was to change the disc brake pads on the Aurora. Hey, I've always changed my brakes and this job would be no different - right. Got up early, took the front rotors off and dropped them off at the tire place to be turned, and went off to Advance Auto to get the pads.

Once back at the house I decided to change the pads on the front and get the back rotors off. That way when I went back to get the fronts I would drop off the backs and by the time the front pads were installed the backs rotors would be done and I would just have to do a quick install.

As anyone who has worked on cars knows, the best way to determine how long a job will take is make an estimate, double that and add another 25 %. This job would be no different. When I moved to the back calipers I realized very quickly that I wasn't going to be able to press the calipers in with a c-clamp like I had done on the front. They just wouldn't fit. I tried channel locks, no dice. I tried tapping the calipers in - shit. I tried a pulley and gear puller - crap. By this time I had to get back to the shop and pick up my rear rotors.

When I got there I told the mechanic that I was having a hard time and he just snickered. He said that was why he stopped helping people fix brakes in their back yards. You see, the calipers don't press in - they screw in! He then reached up on the top of a shelf and opened a once red box, now gray with years of ground in grease and brake dust. Ahhh! "The disc brake caliper tool," he says with a hint of reverence in his voice. I stood looking at the box and begged, "I'll leave my credit card if you let me borrow the tool." He says, "I would but it isn't mine. They belong to Donnie." That's the guy at the front desk.

Did you ever notice that the guys at auto shops are all named, Ernie, Donnie, Jimmy, Johnny, Ricky. They all end with an "e" sound. I feel like I'm back in South Philly with Tony and Vinnie.

Anyhow, Donnie lets me take the tool back to the house and I get the calipers SCREWED in and the brakes are done. So I saved us BIG money and got that sense of satisfaction of doing your own stuff.

Now for the payback to being cocky about my brakes.

A few months ago I mentioned that I had an eye exam and am now wearing "blended" contacts - one eye has a close vision lens and one has a long vision lens. I ordered lenses online (with a great rebate by the way) and they arrived today - I really needed them since I have been wearing my Acuvue 2, 2 week lenses, for TWO MONTHS now. I went into the bathroom took out my lenses and commenced to put my new left lens in - ahhhh. If felt so nice and clean. I put my right lens in and it was like looking through a kaleidoscope. "What the f%$#!" I took out the lens and made sure that it wasn't inside out. Nope. Looked fine. Put it back in. Same weird view. I thought, "Darn, I ordered the wrong lenses." I checked the prescription - it was right. Then I thought, "Maybe they packaged the wrong lenses." I had a spare from the appointment so I took it out and just as I was ready to tear it open it hit me.

I hadn't taken out my old lens from my FREAKING eye - DUH!

I had put the new lens right ON TOP of my old lens - twice - and didn't notice. I would like to attribute this to the thinness of the new lenses but it really had to do with my stupidity. Now that's funny.

I peeled the old lens off of my eye, installed the new lens and "volia!" Clear sight.

I hope that it was as funny for you as it was to my wife. She loved it!

WH