Lily, The Magic Poop Machine

Our new dog Lily, has a few issues that we are trying to deal with - she doesn't know many commands so her obedience is not very sharp, she still jumps up on you when you come home, jumps on the bed, and the topic of the blog today - she poops at the speed of light when we take her out for a walk.

We have discovered that when Lily wants to poop, she doesn't behave like most dogs. Other dogs pace, sniff, pace, crisscross the area, sniff some more, find just the right area, position themselves accordingly, and finally poop. Lily just walks on the grass and poop flys out of her butt - and it has to be grass in a yard while we are on the walk, not our own yard.

The first time this happened Jen and I were walking the dogs and they were just meandering on the edge of a front lawn. All of the sudden Lily does this instant squat thing and out of her butt flies poop. Jen screams, "what did she just do?" I mumbled something about the speed and the fact that I don't have a plastic bag to pick the poop up with. We walk away, hoping that no one saw the incident. Embarrassed and mortified.

So, we are always on alert and don't give Lily much time on grassy knolls.

Tonight we have to change precautions - Lily pooped RIGHT ON THE STREET. Yep, right out on the asphalt. I felt like we were in New York City. Then Jen looks at me and says, "can you do something about this?" "Like what?" is my response. She says, "like train her not to do that." Right. How about sewing her butt shut?

We'll after some discussion the truth comes out - Jen wants me to MAKE the dog not poop because she not does not want to PICK UP the poop. The thought of having to place a plastic zip-lock bag over a warm pile of dog poop, grab it, turn the baggie inside out on the offensive fecal matter, and picking it up, is enough to make her puke. So in her reasoning she would rather have poop in someone's yard that her vomit - or worse than that - both.

So, we have a challenge here. Any Ideas? By the way, what kind of diapers can a dog wear?

WH